Monday Night RAW Results: July 11, 2011
Event: WWE Monday Night RAW
Airdate: Monday, July 11th, 2011 (USA Network)
Location: The TD Banknorth Garden in Boston, Massachusetts
Results by Thomas Hall of 411 Wrestling
“Yes, sir, we promised you a great main event…”
Here’s Punk to open the show with a bullhorn. He also grabs a headset and says something to the producer on it that we can’t here. Punk sits in the ring and asks if he has everyone’s attention now. He says recapping is in order in case you didn’t watch, which he didn’t because he wasn’t on, so last week he was suspended for what he said a few weeks ago. Punk sums it up by saying he gets in trouble for saying things that no one else has the balls to say.
He demonstrates the bullhorn in case the mic is cut off. The fans are totally behind him here and there’s a loud CM PUNK chant. He says he’s here because Vince wants to sign him to a very long and lucrative contract to WWE. Oddly enough all he’s ever wanted is a microphone. I think you can buy one for like 12 bucks at Wal-Mart dude. Punk says he’s been doing what Vince has wanted to do for years: making the WWE relevant in the real world.
That has only happened twice apparently: when Punk talks and when someone dies (no names mentioned). Everyone from ESPN to E is calling him for his story. Punk finds it funny that only now is Vince begging him to stay. If Vince had treated him like this for the last five years, there wouldn’t be so much ammo built up for him to use. Punk wants a live contract negotiating tonight in which Vince might have to join Punk’s version of Vince’s old kissing club.
Cue Cena who says cut the music. Punk thanks him for getting him a job back that he didn’t even want. He says he’s going to change the look of the title when he wins it because it’s been far too ugly for far too long. Punk points out that Cena isn’t going to be fire because he was once before and it lasted like a week. Cena: “You done?” Punk: “Probably not but would you like to say something?”
Cena says that Punk has been talking about how he’s walking out of Chicago with the title and there’s nothing that can stop him. Cena is no pushover though and now let’s talk about the word wrestler. People have said for years that Punk is great and that Cena is what the company thinks is great. Everyone has said that Punk is great over the years and a lot of names are mentioned including Eddie and Angle. We’ll see how great they both are on Sunday. A GM E-Mail says Vince is on the way and Cena is in action next.
John Cena vs. David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty
Cena vs. McGillicutty to start and Cena treats the champions like the jobbers they are, sending him to the floor as we take a quick break. Back with Cena in a chinlock, apparently due to interference from Otunga. STF attempt doesn’t work and it’s off to Otunga. The match is completely boring as the announcers rant about how important the title is. You know, that belt that they made a second version of at the drop of a hat.
Cena takes Otunga down and it’s off to McGillicutty who gets dominated. You Can’t See Me and there’s the Shuffle. AA is broken up by Otunga and they hit an atomic drop/dropkick combination for two. Superplex by McGillicutty is blocked and there’s the top rope Fameasser to set up the STF but Otunga makes the save again. Well at least it hasn’t been total Cena dominance. And never mind as the AA ends McGillicutty at 9:56.
John Cena b. Michael McGillicutty/David Otunga @ 9:56 – AA to McGillicutty
Video on Henry being all dominant and evil lately.
Vickie is coaching Dolph on how to talk to Vince tonight. The US Title needs to be the premiere title apparently so Punk and Cena need to be fired. Vickie imitates Vince before Drew pops up and imitates him. Dolph makes fun of “Vince” and they all make fun of his breath. Vickie snorts when she laughs and Vince pops up behind them (big pop). Tonight they’ll be in a handicap match against Big Show. They leave and Vince is asks for a message for the people. He doesn’t want to talk to the people right now.
Kelly Kelly vs. Melina
The Bellas are on commentary. Jerry gets on Cole for saying there’s a way to tell the Bellas apart which they say doesn’t exist. Kelly is in trouble early but takes over, uses a Stinkface for no apparent reason and hits the K2 to retain at 1:45. Total nothing match.
Post match the Bellas say Kelly is way to skinny and wears way too much makeup. They beat her down and Eve comes out for the save. The Bellas leave her laying.
Quick recap of Miz destroying Riley after losing to him last week.
Here’s Miz and there are ladders everywhere. He climbs up to the top of one underneath the MITB case. He knows what it means to win the case and be world champion. He’s taken that path before and since he’s the future, he’ll do it again. Miz says he’s used to being above everyone else because he’s the best. Cue Swagger who points out that he’s won the case and the title before. Miz: “If someone cashed in MITB and no one remembers it, did it really happen?”
Cue Bourne who says he’s tired of hearing about what they’ve done so he’s going to talk about what he’ll do Sunday. Bourne gets a running start and slides into the ring feet first with no hands. Here’s Kofi who says the exact same thing that everyone else in the match is going to come out and say. He talks about Edge getting hurt in these matches or something like that. Truth comes out and talks about beating Cena recently. He’s afraid of heights too, and there better not be any spiders on the ladder because he’s afraid of them too. If he opens that case and there’s a spider, the grits will hit the pan.
Here’s Riley because six promos about one match isn’t enough. He comes out at a spring and Miz runs. Here’s Alberto in a Mercedes. He got rid of Rey and now has to do all this all over again. Oh and something about destiny. An E-Mail makes a six man that starts right now.
The Miz/Jack Swagger/R-Truth vs. Alex Riley/Evan Bourne/Kofi Kingston
No Alberto or Rey here. Back with the match already in progress with Bourne vs. Swagger. Off to Miz as Cole talks about how awesome Miz is. Everyone beats down Bourne for a bit with Truth in the ring at the moment. Bourne gets a knee to the face and it’s hot tag to Kofi. He comes in off a springboard and starts jumping all over the place. Boom Drop to Truth. He loads up Trouble in Paradise but stops to hit Swagger.
There’s the springboard cross body to Truth but Miz saves. Truth knocks him to the floor as we take a break. Back with Kofi getting beaten down by Miz. Off to Truth who gets a two count. Kofi manages to get a double DDT to Truth and Swagger and tags Morrison. He hits a bunch of stuff on Swagger and beats on Miz a bit because he can. Everything breaks down and Riley hits the inverted DDT on Swagger for the pin at 10:45 total.
Alex Riley/Kofi Kingston/Evan Bourne b. Jack Swagger/The Miz/R-Truth @ 10:45 – Inverted DDT to Swagger
Everyone hits their finishers post match until Alberto comes out and destroys everyone with the ladder, including throwing it at Miz’s arm. Bourne was holding his ankle too.
We recap the ending of Raw last week with Vince and Cena talking about everything involving Punk. If Cena loses at the PPV he’s fired.
McIntyre/Ziggler vs. Show next.
Drew McIntyre/Dolph Ziggler vs. Big Show
Show is all mad here. Ziggler starts and looks at Show. He tags out immediately so Show beats them both up. Show dominates Drew as Ziggler hides. Drew tries to leave and gets mauled by Show. McIntyre gets thrown up the stage and it’s a countout at 2:00.
Big Show vs. Dolph Ziggler/Drew McIntyre went to a double countout at 2:00.
Show sets to chokeslam McIntyre off the stage but Henry comes out of nowhere and tackles both of them off the stage. Henry goes flying also. Drew just kind of disappears.
Henry doesn’t want help to the back.
We get a clip of Alberto destroying everyone earlier, setting up a long highlight video on MITB matches.
We run down the card for the PPV.
Punk and Vince are up next.
Vince comes out three times because the reaction isn’t strong enough for him. No handshake for Cole. He shakes hand with someone at ringside that is either famous or really lucky. There’s a table and a red carpet in the ring. He doesn’t want to negotiate in person but he’ll do it here. He wants to get this over with so get out here. Punk imitates Vince’s walk as is required by WWE law.
Vince’s chair falls down as he sits in it. The contract has the provision for a Punk collector’s cup in it apparently. Punk talks about how this contract proves that Vince has no faith in Cena. Vince says he couldn’t live with himself if Punk somehow wins the title on Sunday. He actually calls Punk Phil. Punk doesn’t like the contract that’s made up so he had his lawyers make a new one. Punk has already signed this one.
One of the provisions is he gets to push Vince. Apparently Punk wants respect or he’s leaving with the title. Apparently that wasn’t a provision. The first is that he wants a jet. As in a new one, not Vince’s because that one smells. Punk wants his face on the Tron, the buckles, spoons, knives, forks, cups, everything. HE WANTS THE ICE CREAM BARS BACK!!! Punk is officially better than everyone. That actually gets a HUGE reaction.
He wants CM Punk The Movie. You can even call it the Chaperone II, although his will be funny and successful. Oh and the main event of Wrestlemania will be Punk vs. whomever he’s against. The last major perk is that he wants an apology for the suspension and for Vince being a huge hypocrite. As far as the anti-bullying campaign goes, Vince is one of the biggest bullies Punk has ever met. The fans are eating up every word Punk says.
Punk says his friends have worked here and they have been fired. Vince says they deserved to be fired and Punk says that Vince is out of touch for firing people like Luke Gallows and Colt Cabana. Vince doesn’t want to apologize so Punk throws the table over. The fans want something that was either ice cream or wrestling. Vince doesn’t care what the people want and Punk says that’s the point.
The fans want an apology right now and Vince actually says he’s sorry. The fans chant for Colt Cabana as Vince picks up the contract to sign it. Here’s Cena though who points out that even though the fans are cheering for him now, Punk is walking out on them Sunday. Cena calls him a terrorist and says they’re both like kids. Cena says he hates Vince too and makes stupid jokes.
Now we get to the awesome stuff. Cena tells Punk that he’s lost sight of what got him here. Punk talks about how at Wrestlemania 23 he was riding on the side of Cena’s car with a Tommy gun, saying that he promised himself that one day he would be in the ring with Cena instead of watching him. Boston prides itself on being the underdog but now Cena is the WWE Champion and has become exactly what he hates. Now he and Vince are the New York Yankees. Cena drills him and Punk bails. Apparently the man Vince shook hands with was Cena’s dad.
Punk sits on the stage and says that illustrates why he wants to leave. He’s tired of all this and he’s leaving on Sunday. Say goodbye to the WWE Title, say goodbye to John Cena and say goodbye to CM Punk. He tears up the contract and does You Can’t See Me to end this. The ending segment ran a bit too long and it hurt things.