Monday Night RAW Results: June 13, 2011

Event: WWE Monday Night RAW
Airdate: Monday, June 13th, 2011 (USA Network)
Location: The Nassau Coliseum in Uniondale, New York
Results by Thomas Hall of 411

“Yes, sir, we promised you a great main event…”

Here’s Miz to open the show looking awesome as usual. Miz says he’s the all time WWE All-Star because he won in the main event on the flagship show last week. Then again you would have to be a moron to know that. You know, like Alex Riley. The crowd does the WHAT thing and Miz makes fun of them for it, saying it was cool in 2001. No it wasn’t but we’ll let that slide.

Miz calls out Austin and wants to know why every time he looks up there’s Austin or Rock or someone from the Attitude Era trying to steal his spotlight. Austin owes him an apology apparently and here he is. Austin gets in his face about his suit and his hair and various other things. The night the Tough Enough cast debuted Miz came out here and ran his mouth, talking all kinds of trash.

Austin actually gives him some credit for being a silver tongued devil. Miz tries to say something but Austin cuts him off, saying stop talking while Austin has something to say. Austin talks about Alex Riley and says that he’s got something, saying that he might be a bigger star than Miz someday. Miz wants to know if he can talk yet and Austin says no. Austin asks if Miz is going to take Riley out on Sunday and then grabs him by the tie, saying that Miz and Riley need counseling. Austin is going to provide it tonight with one Rowdy Roddy Piper tonight in this very ring.

Austin turns away slightly and says if Miz knows what’s good for him he’ll get out of here right now. Miz backs off slowly and Austin slowly turns around on him, saying that it’s not Miz’s time to be a hero. Miz finally leaves to solid heat. Here’s Alberto in wrestling gear to cut off Austin again. Del Rio does his usual intro and says it’s time for Austin to pass the torch to Del Rio.

He talks about destiny of course and Austin isn’t all that impressed. He says he’s not much of a fortune teller but says that he sees bad things for Del Rio in the future. Ever since Del Rio injured Big Show with his car, Del Rio has had everyone ready to bash Del Rio’s skull in, so tonight the opening match is Del Rio vs. Kane.

Kane vs. Alberto Del Rio

The bell is after the break. Kane takes over to start and gets his low dropkick for two. Del Rio goes straight for the arm of course, hitting the Codebreaker to the arm. Kane fights out of an arm hold and goes up for the clothesline but crash lands. Del Rio gets the cross armbreaker but can’t hook it all the way and Kane gets to the rope. Del Rio holds onto it for the five count and the DQ at 2:50. Not much at all here.

Kane b. Alberto Del Rio via DQ @ 2:50 when Del Rio wouldn’t break the cross armbreaker

Alberto still won’t let go and here’s Big Show, SPRINTING to the ring to take out Alberto. Del Rio runs so Show kills Ricardo. Kane has to choke Big Show to get him to let go. Austin pops up to make Big Show vs. Del Rio at the PPV.

Ricardo was taken away on a stretcher during the break.

Cody Rhodes/Wade Barrett/Ted DiBiase vs. Sin Cara/Ezekiel Jackson/Daniel Bryan

They to the light again as Cara and Rhodes start. Off to Bryan quickly though who hammers on Rhodes. The former Legacy takes Bryan down and here comes Barrett for a battle of Nexus. Cole keeps ignoring Lawler’s jokes which might be in the best interest for all involved. Barrett gets a crescent kick to the ribs and a pumphandle slam for two on Bryan. Barrett drills Cara but Bryant gets the hot tag to run through Barrett.

Here come the slams which are starting to grow on me. They’re so basic but they look good and convincing. Torture Rack goes on but Legacy comes in for the double team save. Jackson tosses them over the top and tosses Bryan on top of them. Jackson takes Barrett down again and here’s Cara. Slingshot crossbody ends this at 3:45. Cara might have been legal for 10 seconds total.

Ezekiel Jackson/Sin Cara/Daniel Bryan b. Wade Barrett/Ted DiBiase/Cody Rhodes @ 3:45 – Springboard Crossbody to Barrett

Rating: C. Pretty basic here and they kept Cara out of the ring on a live show which more or less can’t be a bad thing at all. He needs an actual story rather than just going out there and doing random high spots. Either way, this was fine for what it was, which was just a way to get the Smackdown midcard on the show.

Back and here’s Horny firing t-shirts to the crowd using a cannon. And here’s R-Truth to end that. They’re all little Jimmy and Jennys apparently. He wants to try but he’s going to become the new champion on Sunday. Horny shoots him with a shirt and that doesn’t work. Truth grabs him and….hugs him. Ok then. Truth shakes his hand and KICKS HIM IN THE FACE. Awesome! Truth does his psycho talking to Horny and here’s Austin on the big screen. Truth has a match later with John Morrison! He’s back! Truth stomps on Horny again and leaves. Lawler comes in to check on the leprechaun.

Santino Marella vs. Sheamus

The bell rings very quickly with no entrance for either guy. Santino fires some kicks off to get Sheamus into the corner. Not that any of them hit but he’s trying at least. Sheamus takes his head off with a clothesline and hammers away, getting another clothesline for two. Cravate goes on for a bit and then Sheamus rams him into the buckle.

Santino Italians Up and that gets him nowhere, other than in the path of another clothesline. High Cross doesn’t work and he loads up the Cobra. Brogue Kick misses and Santino gets the Cobra! Naturally it gets like one and the Brogue Kick hits before Sheamus puts on a Texas Cloverleaf for the submission at 2:50. Not much, but cool to see a new finisher.

Sheamus b. Santino Marella @ 2:50 – Texas Cloverleaf

Orton is up next.

We get the same video from Smackdown of Christian drilling Orton with the title.

Here’s Orton to a fairly tame reaction. And Orton’s mic doesn’t work. He wants Christian here right now and that he only wants to talk. He won’t punt him or try an RKO. All he wants to do is talk. Orton says don’t make him come back there. He might go to the papers otherwise.

Christian pops up on the screen and says he’s earned his spot, unlike Orton who has had everything thrown on him. He polls the fans, asking if they want him to come out here. The fans cheer, so of course he’s not coming. Orton says Edge isn’t here which is a shame. Edge has been carrying Christian for 17 years so he could carry him to the ring.

That seems to be enough and here comes Christian in a new shirt. Here he is in the arena but he stops on the ramp. Orton goes after him but Christian makes the save. There’s an E-Mail which says Orton has a concussion apparently. He won’t wrestle tonight so the GM says go home. If Orton doesn’t chill he’s stripped of the title. Randy tries one more charge at Christian but leaves. It wasn’t a big charge so it’s ok I guess. Austin pops up on the screen and makes Christian vs. Rey Mysterio next.

Christian vs. Rey Mysterio

Booker jumps in on commentary here. Mysterio vs. Punk on Sunday. Haven’t we seen that a lot recently? I guess that’s the rubber match in this mini-series so it makes sense. Rey speeds things up to start and sends Christian down with a headscissors. And never mind as Rey takes him down with a clothesline to take over. Off to the chinlock which doesn’t last long. Christian sends Rey over the top and to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Christian holding a chinlock as Rey tries to fight his way up. Christian goes into the corner and steps on Rey….and it’s a DQ? The bell rang at 5:40 but seriously, what the heck was that? I’d bet on a legit accident because that made zero sense at all. Christian goes after Rey post match but Rey knocks him off the top and sets for a splash, but here comes Punk. Rey dives on him instead and here’s Nexus. Rey avoids the Killswitch and knocks Christian down. 619 to Christian is blocked by Ryan who kills him by ramming him into the post and hitting a backbreaker. Killswitch leaves Rey laying.

Rating: C. Call this right in the middle because the majority of it was in the commercial. I’d bet on this being a mistake. Either that or this was really stupid booking. It felt so completely random and the post match stuff seemed like they were trying to fill in time. I don’t get this at all but it wasn’t that bad. I guess they want to protect both guys which makes sense at least.

Rey Mysterio b. Christian via DQ @ 5:40 when Christian would not stop choking Mysterio

Austin is on the phone when Vickie and Dolph come up. She shouts EXCUSE ME at him and asks for a US Title shot for Dolph on Sunday. Austin says ok on one condition: he drops Vickie as his associate. Dolph doesn’t want to do it but Austin goes into a speech about DiBiase being his manager and Dolph reluctantly drops him. Austin says he’s just having fun with them and leaves while Vickie makes funny noises. So are they split up or not?

R-Truth vs. John Morrison

We get a quick recap of Morrison being injured by Truth. And there’s no Morrison. The music plays again and there’s no Morrison. Truth says get out here and says Morrison need to unscare himself. Truth says he’ll bring the fight to Morrison and goes into the back. To the back we go and someone is out cold. SHAZAM! It’s Morrison, still down and holding his neck. Maybe he’s not back yet. Truth says all the Little Jimmys came here to see a great match. Truth leaves and then comes back, crushing Morrison with an anvil case. Truth has the funniest psycho face you’ll ever see as we go to break.

Video on Dolph Ziggler before his match.

Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger vs. Evan Bourne vs. Kofi Kingston

No pyro for Swagger’s pushups. Vickie is with Dolph here so I guess they’re still together. Dolph and Kofi start us off. Kofi jumps around a lot and hits a jumping back elbow yet somehow it’s Dolph getting the cover. Odd indeed. Off to Swagger who gets a belly to belly for two. Vader Bomb misses though and it’s off to Bourne.

Bourne gets some sweet jumping shots and a rollup on Swagger gets two but there’s the ankle lock. Evan rolls through it, only for Dolph to grab his foot. Bourne kicks him in the head while Kofi hits Trouble in Paradise to Swagger. Picture perfect Air Bourne ends this at 2:55. Just a quick match and not enough to grade but this was fine.

Evan Bourne/Kofi Kingston b. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler @ 2:55 – Air Bourne to Swagger

Back and it’s time for Piper’s Pit. Yep, Piper is drunk. Piper talks about Mania 2 where he dropped Mr. T in this ring. Here’s Miz to say really. Miz says he’s the next Piper, Piper says there’s never going to be another Roddy Piper. Piper calls Miz a Roddy Piper wannabe which Miz denies, saying at least he’s been WWE Champion. He also actually won in the main event of Wrestlemania.

Miz says he was on Real World and makes fun of They Live. Piper says he never saw Real World because he was busy living in the Real World. Piper says let’s talk about the future, like this Sunday. Here’s Riley, who says that Miz never was his friend. Piper says that gave him self respect. Miz points out the hypocrisy of Piper getting annoyed with someone for that when he mistreated Bob Orton for all those years.

Gorilla Monsoon, King Kong Bundy, Mean Gene are all in the bottom of a well so who do you save first? Miz has no idea what Piper is talking about. “Just when you think you got all the answers, I CHANGE THE QUESTIONS!” That was great. Piper says Riley beating him will be AWESOME. Riley says Piper can beat Miz right now. Miz says he’ll put up $1000 that he can beat Piper right now. Piper gets all nervous due to the age and says how about $5000? Austin pops up and says do it. Both guys are putting up five grand and Alex Riley is guest referee. Hilarious as well as good segment here.

Some Divas are going to be on the Price is Right.

Tamina/Alicia Fox/Rosa Mendes/Maryse/Bella Twins/Melina vs. Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres/Gail Kim/Natalya/Beth Phoenix/AJ/Kaitlyn

If this goes past two minutes I’ll be stunned. Kelly and Brie start but it’s off to Melina or Rosa and there’s the big brawl almost immediately. Kelly hits the K2 on Rosa and we’re done at 1:25. Three out of the fourteen were actually legal.

Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres/Gail Kim/Natalya/Beth Phoenix/AJ/Kaitlyn b. Tamina/Alicia Fox/Rosa Mendes/Maryse/Bella Twins/Melina @ 1:06 – K2 to Mendes

Post match Eve gets on the mic and says the Tony Awards (Broadway) were in New York last night. They get in a line and to the Rockette kicks. This was totally pointless.

We recap the ending to Tough Enough last week where Vince Slapped Andy and Austin stunned him. Andy is in the back with Austin and they share a beer. Punk comes in and makes fun of Andy. Austin asks Andy to leave and offers Punk a beer. They do the WHAT sequence over various types of alcohol. Punk wants to give Austin a breathalyzer. Punk: “Can you say the alphabet backwards?” Austin: “I can whip you backwards.” Huge pop for that. No Nexus at ringside tonight.

Here’s Austin for a major announcement. He thanks the crowd but is cut off by an E-Mail. Cole sounds scared to death to have to read it. Austin is sick of the GM, who says that all good things must come to an end. The anonymous GM will be back next week on Raw. Austin’s watch says there’s some time left so as of right now he’s still the GM.

Next week Austin won’t be the GM but next week there will be another three hour Raw and next week it’s all about the power of the people. They’ll make all the matches and stipulations, I guess like Viewer’s Choice from when Bret was GM last year. The GM keeps sending E-Mails and Austin gets ticked off so he chases Cole off. DOWN GOES THE COMPUTER! He pours beer on it and runs over it with the ATV before leaving. Oh wait he’s back to have some beers.

Capitol Punishment ad with the press conference thing. This one is Smackdown themed. The jokes are kind of funny but at the same time the idea to get them here is really old.

CM Punk vs. John Cena

There’s a five minute overrun tonight apparently so this has a good deal of time. Punk sits down in the middle of the ring after his entrance. This is the first time we’ve seen Cena all night and he gets a solid reaction but it’s mainly booing. The dueling chants are going strong quickly. Punk goes behind Cena and that gets him nowhere. Punk tries the GTS and Cena tries the AA but neither work and it’s a stalemate. Cena tries the fisherman’s suplex and gets countered into being draped over the ropes as we take a breaBack with Cena hammering away but walking into an old school abdominal stretch. Oh and Cole is back on commentary. Punk hits a huge dive to the floor and then with a Savage point to the roof he hits something that kind of almost resembled a double axe. Off to a bodyscissors which Cena reverses into the STF but he can’t make it last as Punk gets the rope. Leg lariat gets two for Punk.

Punk keeps his advantage, hitting the clothesline in the corner. Cena reverses the bulldog though and sets the ending sequence. He tries the shoulder block and Punk uses one of his Zen counters that he learned in his tours of Japan by calling on his ancient martial arts training: he ducks, sending Cena flying to the floor. Why don’t more people get that? Cena does the same to the springboard clothesline and both guys are down. Cena starts his comeback and hits the Protoplex but here’s Truth to annoy a fan. He offers a sip of water for the fan’s hat. The distraction lets Punk hit the GTS for the pin at 14:00.

Rating: B. Good match here for the most part with Punk finally getting the pin that he’s never gotten (I don’t think at least) over Cena. His reaction post match helped it a lot as he looked like he was a kid on Christmas morning. Good stuff here between two guys that definitely have chemistry together.

Truth hits Cena with the bottle of water post match and takes the belt with him after talking some trash. We get a hype commercial for RAW next week.