Monday Night RAW Results: June 6, 2011

Event: WWE Monday Night RAW
Airdate: Monday, June 6th, 2011 (USA Network)
Location: The Richmond Coliseum in Richmond, Virginia
Results by Thomas Hall of 411 Wrestling

“Yes, sir, we promised you a great main event…”

After Andy won Tough Enough and got drilled by Vince (who said he would have picked the other guy) and Stunned by Austin in one of the weirdest welcome to the jobs you’ll ever see we’re ready to go.

The show opens with Austin and Vince in the ring having some beers to open the show, here’s Truth in a Confederate Army uniform marching to the ring to the tune of When the Saints Come Marching In and singing about Little Jimmy marching in. We get a clip of last week where Truth threw soda on a fan. He apologizes to Big Jimmy and Little Jimmy and to the refreshing soda.

Truth doesn’t like being in the south and says that the Confederacy didn’t do anything right other than seceding from the Union. Tonight he’s seceding from the WWE, but he’s keeping the title shot. He talks about the conspiracy against him and asks Vince about it. Vince asks if Truth’s real first name is R and says he should come visit him during his office hours. Is this college all of a sudden?

Here’s Miz, saying he deserves a final title shot. Riley comes out and doesn’t say much before Cena comes out also. Cena says that everyone here is out of or for something, be it Miz being out of opportunities for the title, Riley being out for vengeance, Austin being out of beer or Truth being out of his mind. Cena respects Riley and tells Truth to get rid of the uniform because he already has his PPV title shot. We get an E-Mail but Vince cuts him off, saying that it’s Cena/Riley vs. Miz/Truth with Austin as referee. Absolutely hilarious opening segment, namely due to Truth being insane.

Santino Marella vs. Michael McGillicutty

Neither guy gets an intro here. McGillicutty yells at the crowd to zero reaction but Santino gets a nice pop. Marella sends him into the corners and knocks him over the top with a clothesline. He actually channels the Warrior with the rope shake and the gorilla press sign. Cobra doesn’t work and McGillicutty takes over a bit. Santino fires back and hits the saluting headbutt so he can do the Warrior press sign again. Vlad runs over Otunga and the McGillicutter misses. Cobra ends this clean at 4:35.

Santino Marella b. Michael McGillicutty @ 4:35 – Cobra

Rating: D+. This was a bit awkward and didn’t work all that well. I’m not sure why this was on Raw but I guess it was to give us something a bit weaker after that very high powered opening. Santino is still rather popular with his same old stuff but if it’s working why change it? Not much here though as the wrestling was a bit off but maybe that’s why these two are in tag teams.

Kelly Kelly/Beth Phoenix vs. Bella Twins

Hokey smoke two matches with no commercials? When do you EVER see this? Well close enough at least as they go to commercial before the Bellas’ entrances. Nice idea though. After the break we get a clip of the Bellas making fun of Kharma for being pregnant. Kelly starts as Cole talks about the Bellas’ Twitter. Kelly gets beaten down by both twins while Beth plays cheerleader.

Off to the bow and arrow hold. Jerry calls Kelly the milk to his cookies. I really don’t want to think about Lawler’s cookies. Off to Beth who cleans house on let’s say Brie. We go way old school with a Tully Blanchard slingshot suplex for two. Everything breaks down and there’s the Glam Slam for the pin at 2:26. Good to see them making Beth look like a monster again.

Beth Phoenix/Kelly Kelly b. Bella Twins @ 2:26 – Glam Slam to Nikki Bella

Booker and Trish are in the back and Booker offers to give Trish a secret move: the Trisharooni. He starts teaching her and Jack Swagger comes up to challenge Booker. He says cool and it’s on for tonight.

CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio

Didn’t we see this last week? Punk sits down on the stage and says that this next match is to prove that Nexus is still strong. The match starts next.

Here we go and Punk tries a big kick to start. Doesn’t actually connect but it looked good. Off to the mat and Punk works on the wrist. Rey speeds things up but can’t get an O’Connor Roll. Monkey flip sends Punk to the floor and Rey adds a headscissors to take Punk down.

Back in and a slingshot legdrop gets two. Punk fires back with his strikes but Rey escapes over the top. He goes up but gets kicked down into the Tree of Woe. Running knee to the exposed stomach gets two. Belly to back gets two and it’s off to a body scissors by Punk. Rey is sent spine first into the post and it’s time for a superplex. Rey knocks him off and hits I guess you would call it a flipping attack to take Punk down. He just kind of dove at him and rolled forward.

Rey starts his comeback and hits the springboard cross body for two. A headscissors takes Punk down but he grabs a powerslam out of nowhere for two. Ryan blocks the 619 so Rey gets a semi-botched but still good looking tornado DDT while kicking Ryan down to the floor at the same time. Top rope splash ends this at 8:40.

Rey Mysterio b. CM Punk @ 8:40 – Top Rope Splash

Rating: B-. These two have undeniable chemistry in the ring and it showed again here. They almost always have a solid match and while this wasn’t quite as good of a match as they’ve had before, it was certainly fine for about a 9 minute match on Raw. Good stuff here, as expected from these two.

New presidential press conference video with Truth being insane. When you can almost save one of these things, that’s a great sign.

Cena warns Riley to not cross him.

3 hour Raw next week and it’s WWE All Star Night.

Here’s Alberto in a 1960 Rolls Royce. The word for Alberto right now is slander. People have been saying he’s a hit and run coward. It was an accident though and here’s the video to prove it. We see a clip of the accident and now Del Rio wants Show to come out so he can apologize. Here he comes….and it’s Ricardo in a bald wig on crutches. There’s food being eaten and a catcher’s mitt for a hand. Well they have the small bits down.

Alberto says he’s pretending to be hurt to avoid paying for damages to his car. All Ricardo does is hold up his hand and growl. Del Rio offers candy and ice cream and chocolate in exchange for dropping the charges but then takes it back, saying Show deserved what happened to him. He warns Show not to make Alberto his enemy because Show will get hurt if he does so, because bad things happen to bad people.

Video on Kofi which more or less is him jumping a lot. He’s up next.

Kofi Kingston vs. Zack Ryder

Ryder, the apparent new internet darling, doesn’t even get his own music as Dolph and Vickie are out there also for commentary. Non-title here and Cole calls Ryder “Zack Ziggler”. Kofi uses his basic stuff to start so Ryder gets in his face. Ryder avoids the jump in the corner and gets a neckbreaker for two. The announcers plug the Youtube show as Ryder gets a kick in the corner. Well at least I think he did because we cut back to Ziggler and Vickie every 8 seconds. Kofi starts his comeback and never mind as there’s Trouble in Paradise and we’re done at 2:44. Just a quick match here and nothing of note.

Kofi Kingston b. Zack Ryder @ 2:44 – Trouble in Paradise

Booker is up next.

Booker T vs. Jack Swagger

Booker grabs the arm to start and that gets him nowhere. He chops away but Swagger knocks him to the floor and we shift into a brawl. Swagger hammers on him for a bit until Booker gets a spinwheel kick out of the corner to take back over. Axe kick misses but a heel kick sends Jack to the floor again. And that’s it as he just takes the countout at 3:14.

Booker T b. Jack Swagger via countout @ 3:14

Rating: C-. Just a quick match here to get Booker on TV, surprisingly enough not for a plug for the Nitro DVD. It makes sense to not have Swagger lose clean here as Booker probably isn’t going to be a regular wrestler. Not much at all but nothing really bad here. It’s hard to complain about a match that barely broke the threshold for a rating.

Bourne jumps Swagger in the aisle and Jack winds up taking an axe kick and the Shooting Star Press. There’s a double Spinarooni as well.

Alex Riley/John Cena vs. The Miz/R-Truth

Austin is referee remember. We get all four entrances but the bell is next.

Back and it’s Miz vs. Cena to start. Riley gets tagged in about 20 seconds in and Miz runs to tag Truth. Truth does his usual stuff but Riley is able to tag in Cena. Just like Miz earlier, Truth runs for his partner so it’s back to Cena vs. Miz again. Cena LOUDLY calls for a bulldog and hits one on Miz so that the chase can be on.

Back to Truth vs. Riley with Truth taking his head off with a clothesline as we take a break.

We are back and Miz with a reverse chin lock on Riley. Riley gets to his feet and he punches Miz to get away. Riley gets backed into the corner and he tries to fight out but Miz with a DDT for a near fall. Miz keeps Riley from making the tag and he kicks his former protégé. Austin pulls Miz forcibly out of the corner and Miz argues with Austin. Miz tries for a shoulder into the corner but Riley moves and Miz goes into the post. Truth makes the tag and he keeps Riley from getting to Cena. Truth with a snap mare with a knee to the back.

Truth with a reverse chin lock on Riley and Austin has something to say to Truth. Truth punches Riley and Austin pulls him out of the corner. Truth with a running boot to Riley. Truth goes to the turnbuckles and he connects with Riley’s boots and Truth goes down.

Cena makes the tag and so does Miz. Cena with two flying shoulder tackles followed by a Blue Thunder Bomb. Miz with the Five Knuckle Shuffle and then it is time for the Attitude Adjustment but Truth punches Cena but Cena sends Truth over the top rope to the floor. Cena puts Miz in the STF and Miz gets to the ropes.

Truth has a chair and Cena moves. Cena with a drop kick to Truth. Miz and Cena with clotheslines and both men go down. Riley has the briefcase and he stands over Cena and he hits Miz instead. Austin does not disqualify him. Austin with a Stunner followed by an Attitude Adjustment from Cena for the three count.

Winners: John Cena and Alex Riley with an assist from Steve Austin

We have a beer bash, but it is interrupted by the Raw General Manager who chimes in.

The referee has blatantly overstepped his bounds so Riley and Cena have been disqualified. The winners are the Miz and R Truth.

We get another and I quote to tell Austin that he is the guest general manager for next week

Austin says that now the official BS is out of the way, Austin knocks over the computer and then he wants to know if the people want him to be the general manager next week and he asks for a Hell Yeah. Austin punches Cole and he brings him into the ring and it is time for Cole to take a beer shower. Austin gives Cole a Stunner and then Cena gives Cole an Attitude Adjustment.

Steve Austin has a handful of beers in his hands but he throws them to John Cena to join him in the celebration.