Monday Night RAW Results: May 16, 2011

Posted by Michael Bluth May 17, 2011 1 Comment

Event: WWE Monday Night RAW
Airdate: Monday, May 16th, 2011 (USA Network)
Location: The AT&T Center in San Antonio, Texas
Results by Thomas Hall of 411 Wrestling

“Yes, sir, we promised you a great main event…”

Theme song opens us up.

Here’s Cena but before he can say anything Riley pops up on the stage. Riley says he knows what Cena is going to say and introduces a video of Miz beating on Cena. Here’s Miz who looks weird without the title. Riley talks about how everyone has underestimated Miz. They’re in the ring now and Cena isn’t pleased. We get some classic cheap heat on the San Antonio Spurs for choking.

Cena cracks some jokes and implies Miz is a kid/stupid and then turns serious. He talks about how Miz has proven everyone wrong, but on Sunday he won’t be saying he’s awesome. He’ll be saying he quits. An E-Mail says that Miz can pick Cena’s opponent and the stipulation for tonight but it can’t involve Miz or Riley. Miz isn’t sure yet on either option.

Kofi Kingston vs. CM Punk

I’m not sure if this is a step up for Kofi or a step down for Punk. Punk takes over to start and tells Nexus to stay at the top of the ramp. Kofi sends him to the floor and they come down, only to have Punk send them back again. Punk fires off some elbows to the chest for two. Knee drop gets the same. He tries to go up top but Kofi gets a kick to the side of the head and the champ takes over.

That HUGE cross body gets two and New Nexus is looking worried. Boom Drop hits despite Kofi running around for about 8 seconds beforehand. He keeps looking at Nexus and misses Trouble in Paradise. GTS can’t hit but Kofi misses his jump in the corner. There’s the GTS and Punk gets the totally clean pin at 3:56.

CM Punk b. Kofi Kingston @ 3:56 – GTS

Rating: C+. This was fine and I can live with Kofi losing here as he was distracted by Nexus and he lost to a guy with a far better resume than he had. I’d love to see these guys get more time out there as the stuff they had worked quite well while it lasted. This was fine for a TV match.

Punk says that was just the beginning and Nexus will become the most dominant force in WWE history.

Miz is talking to Ziggler and Vickie about possibly facing Cena I assume.

Brie Bella vs. Kelly Kelly

Non-title again. We talk about the Divas on Twitter because that’s about all there is to talk about. Kelly does her gymnast stuff as we keep talking about Twitter. The Twins cheat a bit and Brie works on a chinlock. Kelly spanks her a bit and a quick rollup/pinning combination ends this at 1:56.

Kelly Kelly b. Brie Bella @ 1:56 – Rolling cradle

Post match the Bellas beat down the blonde and it’s Kharma time. HUGE pop for the music coming on too. Kelly is out in the corner and Kharma goes after her, only to have a Bella hit Kharma in the back. Implant Buster to the other one. We do get the terrified Kelly eyes and Kharma picks her up by the jaw. She flicks Kelly in the head, laughs, and leaves.

Miz talks to Big Show and gets cut off.

That’s What I Am ad.

Here’s Rey to address the situation with R-Truth from last week. He says that he wants to prove to Truth that he had no business being in last week’s main event or any for that matter. He’s still waiting as we go to a break. Back and instead it’s Alberto coming out to see Rey. He talks about how he’s a pure blooded Mexican unlike Rey. Rey says he’s proud to be a Chicano and an American. If Truth isn’t here, then he has no problem shutting Alberto’s mouth instead.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Rey Mysterio

They start off very fast with Rey getting a kick to the chest and moving out of the way of a charging Alberto. Codebreaker to the arm out of the corner as we take another break. Back with more arm work by Alberto and Rey can’t quite fight back. Alberto puts on an armbar. Make that a LONG armbar.

Rey starts his comeback and here’s R-Truth up in the rafters. He wants the cops to be called as there’s a thief here as Rey stole his title shot. Alberto doesn’t take the chance to jump Rey or anything so once Truth shuts up Rey keeps the advantage. He speeds things up a bit more and it’s 619 time, but Ricardo grabs Rey for the CHEAP DQ at 9:34 total.

Rey Mysterio b. Alberto Del Rio @ 9:34 via disqualification when Ricardo Rodriguez interfered

Rating: D+. Very boring match here as it was about 80% armbar and commercial. The point was to set up the Truth stuff post match but can’t you have a good match at the same time that you’re setting up an angle? Pretty weak stuff overall and not what you would expect from these two.

The heels beat Rey down a bit more post match, working on the arm. Truth runs in after they leave and beats him down even more, saying that on Sunday Rey is going to get got. The mask is almost off Rey at this point when Truth leaves.

Miz recruits Punk and Mason Ryan.

Time for the contract signing for Cole and Lawler. Lawler agrees that if Cole wins Cole gets the HOF ring and if it ever happens, Lawler will induct Cole into the Hall of Fame. Cole signs immediately as does Lawler. Michael is all happy about it and it turns out that Sunday is a Kiss My Foot match. We get a clip of Ross being forced to kiss Cole’s feet last month and also a clip from the Kiss My Foot match against Bret Hart where Lawler was made to kiss Bret’s feet and then his own also.

Cole puts his disgusting foot on the table and Lawler says shut up. That was Bret Hart and Cole is no Bret Hart. He’s not even a Jack Swagger. Cole runs his mouth off, talking about how no one remembers Swagger being a former world champion and the only reason Swagger was on Wrestlemania was because of Cole. Swagger isn’t happy with this and says he’s all yours King before leaving. Cole tries to make nice with Jerry and gets slammed down by the tie again. On Sunday, Jerry is going to put his foot in Cole’s mouth and close it. Cole is crying as the segment ends.

Miz is talking to Kane when Big Show comes up. Kane leaves while Miz is still talking and the tag champs face Nexus next.

Cole is all annoyed now.

Big Show/Kane vs. Michael McGillicutty/David Otunga

Kane vs. McGillicutty to start us off and that goes badly for Genesis dude (NXT 2 reference if you didn’t watch the show). Does that make Kane Nintendo Boy? Big Show comes in and the Nexus actually manages to take him down. Cole keeps apologizing for the tiniest things that tick Jerry off now which is a nice touch. The non-champs work on Show’s leg as Punk runs his mouth a lot.

Show actually uses some nice leg work to get out of the hold but Otunga stops the tag. Show gets a belly to back suplex to put both guys down and there’s the tag to Kane. Otunga’s boots look like the ones Swagger usually wears. Kane beats up both guys but here’s Ryan in for the…..not DQ as he doesn’t get any contact in. Show takes him down on the floor and it’s chokeslam time. Punk gets a kick to the back of the head and the McGillicutter ends Kane at 4:50.

Michael McGillicutty/David Otunga b. Kane/Big Show @ 4:50 – McGillicutter to Kane

Rating: C. Not bad here and nice to see a little surprise as Nexus might actually be getting a push for a change. Nexus is never going to be as strong as they were at first but this is nice to see as instead of just standing around they actually get a few wins. Hopefully the tag titles change hands soon though as Kane and Show can only do their unstoppable giants deal so long before it gets incredibly dull.

Truth is Miz’s latest recruit. As long as they don’t have another match I have zero issues there.

We run down the Over the Limit card to fill in some time.

Kane and Show say the loss means nothing. There’s a title match on Sunday against Nexus apparently.

Cena is up next and he runs into Ryder again.

Miz comes out and picks a no holds barred match. Cena comes out to fight and is jumped by Jack Swagger, who is the opponent.

John Cena vs. Jack Swagger

Swagger starts off in control as Cole says this is why Swagger abandoned him. Cena tries to fight back but Swagger takes him down and adds a leg drop. The dueling Cena chants begin and Swagger adds a suplex. Vader Bomb hits as we take a break.

Back and we see that Cena tried to fight back during the break on the floor but was rammed into the post. Also Swagger got a shot in with the computer.

Back in the ring and Swagger gets a chair shot to the back and Cena is in big trouble. Vader Bomb onto the chair gets two only as the fans are getting back into this. Jack wedges the chair between the top and middle rope but here comes Cena. Never mind as he gets caught in something resembling a half belly to belly/half spinebuster for two.

Ankle lock goes on but Cena rolls through and avoids a charging Swagger, sending him head first into the chair. Cena starts the finishing sequence and with a look at Miz, the Attitude Adjustment sets up the STF for the tap out at 11:30 total. Better match than I was expecting.

John Cena b. Jack Swagger @ 11:30 – STF

Rating: C+. Pretty decent main event here as Cena and Swagger continue to have rather solid chemistry together. Cena gets to win a match by submission to prove that he can even though we already knew he could. Swagger looked good out there and got to be in control the majority of the time, which is what they should have done. Good stuff.

Miz lists off various ways he could make Cena quit on Sunday, suck as dropping Cena off the stage, slamming a camera into Cena as he’s against the stage (which he actually does, getting a big crack as it hits the stage) or he could find something under the ring to use on Cena. Alex finds a pipe which he hands to Miz who climbs the stairs.

Miz says he won’t use any of those things because there are a million ways to beat Cena which Cena hasn’t thought of yet. He says he’s going to find a way to make Cena quit that Cena has never seen before. Cena looks a tiny bit worried/scared here. Miz won’t use the pipe Sunday, but he will tonight. Riley provides the distraction and Miz gets a shot in but Cena fights back and takes down Miz, standing tall to end the show. Cena says Miz is going to need the million he has and a million more, because at Over the Limit Miz is going to say I Quit. Staredown ends the show.

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