RAW Results: January 2nd, 2012
Event: WWE Monday Night RAW
Airdate: Monday, January 2nd, 2012 (USA Network)
Location: The FedEx Forum in Memphis, Tennessee.
Results by Tony Acero of 411Mania
“Yes, sir, we promised you a great main event…”
After a nice little recap of the Kane and Cena interaction last week, we start the show with the No Hate man hisself, John Cena. No shirt tear this week as it appears this shirt is safe for tonight. Cena on the mic. He claims that the year may not have ended the way that he wanted, but it is a new day and a new year so he’d like to wish everyone a Happy New Year. The You Suck chants start low then gain some traction, but not too much. Cena claims that the new year is typically a time for resolution and John Cena is going to make some changes in 2012. First, he’s going to start wearing less underwear…oooook. Second resolution, his father is banned from WWE television. Third and most important, he’s going to slap the face off of The Rock and win the biggest match in the history of the WWE. One thing that will not change, however, is the fact that he will remain who he is and his convictions will remain true. Words like Hustle, Loyalty and Respect do not fall to pieces because someone throws fire in ones face. He says last week, he was a bit emotional, but that wasn’t towards any of us. He says that everyone has paid to be here and he cannot judge what we want to say and how we want to say it… Cena is disappointed in Kane because he cannot settle the issue with Cena the way they should, with a match. Cena is boring me. We’ve heard this before. He loves us, bla bla bla. He will continue to enjoy any emotional response that he gets and he will start this year by thanking all of us. Here’s Kane!
We only hear the voice of one Sir Kane. He claims that Cena will embrace the hate and witness the true power of it, tonight. Kane then giggles more than a Tickle Me Elmo with his button sutck and the fire explodes from the turnbuckles.
As they advertise the WWE Championship match, a small clip of the boy and girl plays and it says “It Ends Tonight.”
Daniel Bryan vs. Cody Rhodes
Back from commercial and out comes the World Heavyweight Champion Daniel Bryan. Out next comes his opponent, the WWE Intercontinental Champion Cody Rhodes.
The bell rings and they go at it. Cody slams Bryan on his shoulder and stomps. Cody throws Bryan by his shoulder into the corner and covers for a 2 count. Cody continues working on Bryan’s arm and keeps him on the mat. Bryan blocks a shot in the corner fights back with right hands. Bryan ducks a clothesline and drops Cody with a forearm. Bryan with kicks now. Cody hits the drop down right hand. Bryan counters again and tosses Cody to the floor. Bryan leaps off the apron and barely connects. Bryan rolls Cody in the ring and climbs up top. Cody moves but Bryan lands on his feet. Cody drops Bryan’s face on the turnbuckle and hits Beautiful Disaster for a 2 count.
Cody drops Bryan on his face again. Cody goes for another suplex but Bryan turns it into a roll-up for the win.
Winner: Daniel Bryan
– After the match, Bryan celebrates with the fans and takes the celebration up the ramp, shouting “YES” the whole way. We see a clip from last week when R-Truth returned and attacked The Miz.
– John Laurinaitis is backstage when The Miz walks in. Laurinaitis doesn’t agree with what R-Truth did last week and calls it unprofessional. Miz wants action taken against Truth. Laurinaitis shows Miz footage on his TV from two months ago when Miz turned on Truth. Laurinaitis says it’s obvious Miz is scared. Laurinaitis promises to have some people look out for Truth, especially during Miz’s match against Sheamus tonight. Miz says he’s going to be a sitting duck out there and leaves. Miz walks through the back and after he walks away, R-Truth steps out of the shadows. Truth flaps his arms like a duck and quacks as we go to commercial.
We get a recap of Barrett and Orton fighting in the elevator as well as the end of the match before showing the end result of Orton falling down the stairs. Barrett on the mic with a big ol grin. He says that he didn’t want to come out and wish anyone a Happy New Year, because he doesn’t care about their new year or old year. However, for him personally, it’s already been a fantastic 2012 because it is completely devoid of Randy Orton. Yes, he tossed him down a flight of stairs, but it was either him or Wade. Orton is now in his past and he is looking to the future, looking forward to winning the Royal Rumble. He is looking forward to main eventing Wrestlemania. There’s no other person that can deny he is—-
Barrett is cut off by Santino. Pop Quiz, hot shot…in last years Royal Rumble match, who lasted longer? Santino or Wade? Times up, it was Santino. And just like this year, the barrage is going to get runneded over by the Santino Marella choo choo train! He choo choos to his corner and gets ready for his match.
Match 2: Wade Barrett vs. Santino
Wade with some left hooks to the face of Santino. Santino goes for a hit but Wade deflects and looks to hit, only for Santino to drop down in the splits. Wade notices, though, and drops Santon with a kick. He sends Santino to the corner then stomps him before going for a press but Santino moves. Santino calls for the Cobra but Wade hits a mule kick then sends Santino to the corner, chest first. Boss Man Slam that Wade is now calling the Winds of Change and a pin for the 1…2…3!!
Winner: Wade Barrett (*1/2)
In the back, the Bellas are arguing in front of The Miz. Miz interrupts them and asks if they have seen R-Truth. They say no, they haven’t, but they saw Little Jimmy. Miz says he is glad Alberto got hurt then walks off. He hears something around a corner then stops and continues walking. Truth comes up from behind and smiles at the camera then holds his finger to his mouth, asking us to shhhhh.
The Miz attacks Sheamus right away and locks Sheamus up on the ropes, while still hitting the rights. Miz is trying to lock Sheamus in with both arms but Sheamus fights out and gets Miz tied up on the outside of the apron and just beats the hell out of his chest! Miz high tails it out of the ringside and into the crowd. He climbs the stairs and you hear R-Truth’s voice. Truth says that he was watching the match from the crowd and guess who he ran into…Little Jimmy! He looks at a kid and says that Lil Jimmy said he doesn’t like Miz! Some more talk then Truth clocks him with a water bottle and there goes Sheamus practically knocking the head off of The Miz.
We return to the show with a recap from last Monday where Ziggler won the opportunity to get a title shot tonight, which they have been advertising for the entire night. In the back, Josh Mathews is with Dolph Ziggler. Dolph is doing a headstand. haha. Mathews wants to know if Dolph feels he is going to win. Ziggler says that last week he pinned Punk as simple as he did the headstand. He’s got it and he’s flaunting it. The country is in debt, the kids are out of shape and cannot read. He is a walking surplus. Talent, charisma, intelligence, he’s got it all…except for one thing. The WWE Championship. You will want to remember the time and place that this went down.
Ryder and Eve are talking in the back until Swagger comes up to them. Swagger says there is an imposter walking around with the US Championship. Swagger, of course, is talking about Ryder. He makes a cheesy ER joke to Swagger and Swagger says that he’ll take his girlfriend and title in one match. Here’s Johnny Ace and in case ya didn’t know, he introduces himself. Ace says he will not reward Swagger. Tonight, it will be Jack Swagger, Mark Henry and Kane against Zack Ryder, The Big Show and John Cena.
Match 3: World Heavyweight Championship Match: CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler
They feel each other out for a bit before locking up. Dolph sends Punk to the ropes and Punk goes for a roll up real quick, getting a 1 count. Another pin for a 1 count onto Dolph and it only gets a 1. Punk with a go behind but Ziggler is able to grab the ankle and turn it into a pin for 1. Both me nstand as the crowd chants for Punk. Lock up again but Punk is there with some rights to the gut of Ziggler then hits a back breaker and pins for 1. Punk keeps control of Dolph but Dolph backs him into the corner and gets in some rights. Dolph with a hard right to the face of Punk then a pin for 1…2..NO. Dolph with an elbow drop, but he misses as Punk rolls out of the way. Punk with a body slam then hits the ropes and hits leg drop. One more.. And a third! A fourth! Fifth! Pin for 1…2..NO! Punk with a cravat from behind. Dolph tries fighting out of it by sending Punk to the ropes and turning into it. He sends Punk to the ropes but Punk comes back with a shoulder block. Another whip and this time Dolph flapjacks Punk onto the ropes. Ziggler on the attack with some kicks then hits a neckbreaker and a pin for 1…2..NO! Dolph with an elbow drop and hits it. Pin for two! Dolph from behind with a headlock of his own. Both men are up and Punk hits a foot stomp then a spinning heel kick, sending Dolph to the outside! Punk looks like he’s going to fly! He hits the ropes and is about to head out between the ropes but Ziggler stops him dead with a right hand! He hits a neckbreaker onto the apron then sends Punk back into the ring. Pin for 1…2..NO!!!
We are back and Punk is in control but only for a second as Dolph locks on the Sleeper. Oh, but Punk hits a nice side suplex and a pin for 1…2..NO! Punk with a leg lariat! Punk looks to want that running knee but Dolph stops it only to run right into another slam by Punk and a pin for 1…2…NO!!! Punk goes for a suplex but Ziggler from behind with a roll up only for Punk to reverse that into a pin, but it’s too close to the ropes! Dolph with a dropkick and a pin for 1…2…NO!! Close one! Ziggler runs with a splash into the corner then suplex’s Punk face first to the mat and covers for 1…2..NO!! Punk with the kick out. The turnbuckle is off in the corner. here comes Punk with the high knee into a bull dog and pins for 1…2…NO!!! Punk is calling for the G2S! Oh, but Johnny Ace is out here to point out that the turnbuckle pad is off! Punk is setting up for the Go to Sleep but Dolph floats out of it only for Punk to work the arm and lock in the Anaconda Vice!!! Dolph taps but the ref is dealing with Johnny!!!! Dolph from behind is about to hit the Zig Zag, but Punk moves and Dolph flies right into Johnny Ace!!! Dolph sends Punk to the ropes, but Johnny Ace pulls the ropes down and Punk flies over!! The ref starts a ten count. He doesn’t make it into the ring and Dolph wins the match via countout!!! Dolph celebrates with the title, apparently not knowing that he isn’t the champion. Dolph leaves with the belt through the crowd though.
Winner: Dolph Ziggler via countout (***)
Another quick clip of the kids saying “He is Here” before the break.
Match 4: The Bella Twins vs. Kelly Kelly and Eve Torres
Brie and Kelly to start. Brie smacks Kelly’s ass so Kelly smacks her in the face then the ass. Kelly slams Brie into the turnbuckle then hits the Stink Face. Brie with a pull of the hair, dropping Kelly down then tags in Nikki. Double team then a pin for two. Kelly hits a seated jawbreaker then tags in Eve. Eve comes in with some clothesline then drops Nikki and goes for the Booty Poppin moonsault, but Brie distracts allowing Nikki to attack. Eve recovers , though, with a back elbow then hits a moonsault and pins for 1…2..Nikki is here to break it up! Kelly comes in and the ref holds her back, so the twins switch places. The ref turns around and Brie rolls Eve up for the 1…2..3!!
Winners: The Bella Twins (*1/2)
In the back, Johnny Ace and David “Bow Tie” Otunga are chillin but Punk barges in. He says for two weeks, Ace has really pushed his buttons. Ace says to hold on. Dolph has defeated Punk twice and because of that, he is going to get another title shot and he’s going to get that at the Royal Rumble. He’s also going to ref the match. Punk says that Ace is lucky Otunga is here because he’ll be using him shortly. Because if Ace screws him out of the title, Punk is going to jail. For Animal Cruelty. Because he is going to beat him like a bitch! Wow. Amazing.
Here it comes!!! A clip plays with the girl’s voice saying “you brought this upon yourself.” Some interspliced footage of all the vids play. The girl is skipping through the hallways of a school and hovering over the boy writing on his desk. “She has spoken. It is time. The end of the world as we know it is here. NOW.” Fade to black. The arena is shown and it is made to look like an earthquake of sorts. Shaky camera work as people await in anticipation for……..
He comes out with his arms outstretched and his jacket full of lights! Jericho is all smiles then listens for the Y2J chants. Jericho goes outside the ring to slap hands with some of the fans, totally sucking in the adoration. Back in the ring and the chants start up again. He is about to speak then calls for another cheer. Jericho is totally sucking in the cheers, I can only hope this leads to him shitting all over the fans shortly in impressive heel fashion, yes? He is totally milking this all and calling for chants from carious sides of the arena. He is in total control of the entire arena. Instead of talking, he drops the mic and beckons some more cheers! This is hilariously ridiculous. Once again, he slaps hans with the fans all around the barricade. Jericho grabs the freakin camera from one of the cam guys and films himself! then slaps hands all the way back up the ramp. He’s on the corner of the stage, all smiles, then goes to the opposite corner and asks for more cheers. He is center stage now with a big grin and some boos are actually being heard. Jericho walks to the back and…that’s all, folks.
It’s MAIN EVENT time! No Brodus Clay?!
After everyone comes out except Kane, the Big Red Machine’s music hits but he is a no show. Otunga comes down to talk to the ref and Justin Roberts then leaves. Roberts makes the announcement that Kane is not participating and will proceed with a handicap Elimination Tag Team match.
Match 5: John Cena, Zack Ryder and The Big Show vs. Kane, Jack Swagger and Mark Henry
Swagger and Cena to start. Cena sends Swagger to the ropes and Swagger hits a shoulder block. Cena with a leap frog and an arm drag into a body slam and an elbow drop. Pin for two. Cena sends Swagger to the corner then hits a dropkick and pins for 1…2..NO! Front Face headlock by Cena. Cena sends Swagger to the ropes but Swagger kicks Cena in the face as we go to a break.
Back LIVE and Swagger is sending Cena to the corner only to hit a Swagger bomb and a pin for 1…2…NO! Swagger with a front face lock. Cena powers out, however, by sending Swagger over his back. Cena tags in Show and Show comes in with some clotheslines then a smash into t he corner and a shoulder block to Swagger. Show calls for thw WMD but Swagger rolls away and tags in Henry. Henry is mean muggin and gets in slowly. They go face to face then trade blows to the gut before Show hits a headbutt and another. A shoulder block to Henry and he rolls out of the ring. Henry on the outside has a chair and goes to hit Show. Show punches the chair then grabs it and slams it over Henry’s back. The ref eliminates both Henry and the Show. We’re now down to John Cena and Zack Ryder vs. Jack Swagger.
Ryder is in with Swagger and he puts his knees up in the corner, knocking Swagger down. Broski Boot and Ryder is calling for the Ruff Ryder! He’s up! But no, Swagger turns it into an Ankle Lock! Ryder is in the center of the ring. He’s looking for a tag. He’s close! So Close! Tag! Cena is in and here comes the five moves! Shoulder block x’s two! Protobomb! We cannot visually comprehend him! Five Knuckle Shuffle and the AA. Pun for 1…2…3!!!
Winners: John Cena, The Big Show and Zack Ryder (**1/2)
Kane’s music hits and Cena makes his way up the ramp. Kane comes out from under the ring through the mat and attacks Ryder. Cena turns around and Kane hits him off the apron. Kane smuggles the face of Cena again, sans ether, but still seems to put him down. Kane grabs Cena by the leg, waits, turns to Ryder in the ring, then heads to Ryder. Kane pulls Ryder all the way to the hole Kane came from and tries to pull him down under. Cena jumps in the ring to save Ryder! He pulls Ryder away just as that very hole bursts into flames and Kane’s music hits and the show ends.