Spoilers: Impact Wrestling Results For July 14, 2011

The following was taped on Monday, July 11 in Orlando, Florida for the Thursday, July 14 edition of Impact Wrestling:

Dark Match:

1. Eric Young and a partner defeated Robbie E and a partner (couldn’t hear his name). Eric Young pinned Robbie’s partner. This match was so horrible it was hard to watch.

TNA Impact Taping:

Immortal held a party for Mr. Anderson, who had on a nice camouflage tuxedo by the way. It was general ass kissing all around until the lights went out. Sting appeared in the ring at a poker table and asked Eric Bischoff if he wanted to bet who would walk out with the title tonight. Sting did his Joker laugh and pointed out that he had “friends” tonight that would make sure Immortal didn’t screw him. Four Doink the Clown look-alikes appeared in the rafters and Sting flipped the table and got out of the ring

1. Bobby Roode defeated Samoa Joe and The Pope in a Bound For Glory Series match. Good action. Joe kept getting knocked out of the ring and he almost won with the rear naked choke on Bobby Roode, but his shoulders were on the mat and Hebner counted him down for the pin before Roode tapped out… he then argued with Hebner and flipped off the crowd.

2. Austin Aries defeated Shannon Moore. There were a couple of bad missed spots, but it was an otherwise exciting match. Austin Aries has a lot of potential and does a great job in the ring. However, he does this move where he acts like a cat and scratches his opponent, very weird… Aries hit Moore with the chain from the Book of DILLIGAF to score the pinfall. Alex Shelley then came out to check on Moore and helped him out of the ring.

3. Tara defeated Madison Rayne. Tara brought out a present for Madison and sat it in the corner of the ring. It was kind of a normal Knockout match. Rayne threw Tara into the steps and snuck into the ring and opened the present. It was… a tarantula! She got scared and Tara hit the Widow’s Peak for the win, then chased Madison all the way to the back holding the tarantula.

Kurt Angle cut a promo about his No. 1 contender status, and his upcoming TNA Title match at Hardcore Justice. He said he’s going to kick Anderson’s ass whether it is for the championship or not, and he hopes Sting wins so they can finish what they started in some previous match (couldn’t understand him) since he has never beaten Sting. He talked about the Main Event Mafia some as well.

4. Mexican America defeated The British Invasion to become No. 1 contenders to the TNA Tag Titles. Mexican America won when Rosita distracted the ref and they cheated. Big surprise ending there. The entire match was pretty crappy. Hernandez ended up interfering and Anarquia pinned Magnus.

5. Sting defeated Mr. Anderson to win the TNA Title. Pretty entertaining match overall. Mr. Anderson put Sting in a Scorpion Death Lock, Sting hit the Mic Check on Anderson, and referee got knocked out of the ring, as usual in TNA. Bully Ray came down and interfered. The lights went out and one of the clowns was in the ring. The clown proceeded to hit Ray and Anderson with the bat. The lights went out and the clown disappeared. Ray was nowhere to be found, and Sting hit the Scorpion Death Drop on Anderson. The ref crawled back in the ring and counted to three!!! New TNA or Impact Wrestling Heavyweight Champion is Sting! Wow, on an Impact taping… Sting celebrated for a few minutes on the ring and then Impact was over.