TNA Impact Wrestling Report – December 6th, 2012
We look back at last week when Wes Brisco earned a job in TNA, Bully Ray and Hulk Hogan had a hard time separating business and personal, and Austin Aries laid out RVD. We then go to the Impact Zone for the final episode of Impact Wrestling before this Sunday’s Final Resolution PPV!
Bobby Roode comes out with Bad Influence to kick off the show by telling the chodes in the audience (as Kazarian calls them) that they’re the best part of the biggest group in the history of TNA, a group called Fortune. But that’s in the past because they’ll be victorious this Sunday, and Roode makes guarantees that are different than other people’s guarantees because they become reality. He will once again be the World Champion and Jeff Hardy will find out that it pays to be Roode. Daniels has one more guarantee, and that’s that the fans will indeed see one last match between himself and AJ Styles. The winner will be called the best of all time, and the loser…well, he’ll be called AJ Styles. Daniels asks AJ to come out to the ring so they can talk one more time, face to face, as friends. AJ comes out looking rather dubious about this situation, and he faces off with Daniels in the center of the ring. He says he knows what Daniels is going to say because he knows him better than he knows himself. Daniels has been jealous of him since day one because AJ earned everything he’s got in TNA. They can forget all the deception because Daniels can’t beat AJ on his best day. Daniels says every time he’s called AJ a loser, he’s been right because AJ lost the Bound For Glory Series, he lost the World Tag Team Title, and he lost the opportunity to even wrestle for the title for a year. AJ is a loser, and the thing that terrifies AJ the worst is finding out in three days that he is, after all, just a loser. AJ tells Daniels that he talks too much, and he goes after Daniels before getting jumped 3-on-1 by his former partners. Jeff Hardy and James Storm run in to make the save and Evil Fortune heads for the hills.
We look back at last week when Austin Aries said RVD looked like Brooke Hogan because he was flat on his back, leading to a run in by Bully Ray and Hulk Hogan coming out to make angry faces. We go backstage to Aries, who says he’s pushing Hogan’s buttons for setting him up to fail as World Champion. He wants Bully Ray this weekend at the PPV and he won’t stop pushing Hogan’s buttons until he gets it.
TV Title Match: Samoa Joe vs Devon
Well, this is interesting, Devon challenges for the title he never lost. Samoa Joe looks like his shorts are being held up with duct tape. Devon’s wearing his entire Aces & Eights gear complete with the leather jacket. Joe connects with a series of jabs, Devon goes to the eyes, but Joe whips Devon to the corner, charges in with an avalanche elbow, and a leaping enziguiri. Joe with the snapmare/chop to the back/kick to the chest/kneedrop combo. Joe charges, but Devon pulls the top rope down and Joe sails out to the floor. Devon quickly goes out and brings Joe back in, but barely gets 1 off a pinfall attempt. Joe tries to mount some offense, but Devon drills him with a flying back elbow and covers for 2. Devon with a charging splash in the corner and a diving headbutt off the ropes for 2. Devon goes for a second headbutt off the second rope, but Joe rolls out of the way and the momentum has shifted. Joe dodges a series of wild swings from Devon and gives him a Manhattan drop and a running boot, followed by a running senton for 2. Devon charges Joe in the corner and gets hit with the STJoe, then Joe gets the Kokina Clutch. Some blond chick wearing almost nothing pops up on the apron and distracts the referee so Doc can jump up on the apron and hit him in the back of the head with the hammer. Devon covers Joe as the referee turns around and we’ve got a new TV Champion.
Winner and NEW TV Champion: Devon
There you have it! Too bad, I thought Joe was doing a good job as champion and Devon really didn’t need the title with what he’s doing these days. Oh well.
Brooke Hogan is backstage on the cell phone with someone she’s signed, sealed, and delivered. She says to give here a call when she gets here and walks off looking excited.
Al Snow and D-Lo Brown are backstage and Snow’s telling D-Lo about how he got food poisoned last week and what it was like waking up in the hospital and freaking out with everyone standing over him. He thanks D-Lo for filling in for him last week, and D-Lo says he was just happy to be in the right place at the right time and help out.
Mickie James comes out to the ring to tell us how good it feels to be back and thanks the fans for their support, but she sat home for months recovering and thinking about her career and how she didn’t accomplish everything she wanted, but that’s going to change this weekend when she becomes the new Knockouts Champion. Tara and Jesse come out to the ring as Tara mocks Mickie’s emotional speech, then says that she’s had a much better year than Tara because she dropped Brooke Tessmacher and picked up Jesse instead (Jesse stands there flexing at her as she talks), and she’s the Knockouts Champion. Mickie says she won’t be champion for long, but Velvet Sky’s music hits and out she comes to make her return after several months. She makes sure to let the pigeons loose on her way into the ring, and she wants to publicly thank Brooke Hogan for taking care of everything so she could come back to Impact Wrestling. She wishes the both of them luck this weekend at Final Resolution, but 2013 will be the year Velvet Sky becomes the Knockouts Champion, and if we don’t know…then now we know.
Robbie E is backstage having trouble paying his Direct Auto Insurance on his iPad, and Robbie T has to come in and show him what to do. That was…interesting.
A reckoning is at hand…their road to Hell will be paved in their own blood…on 1/3/13.
World Tag Team Champions Chavo Guerrero Jr & Hernandez vs Robbie E & Robbie T
Chavo and E start us off, and Chavo easily regulates E before tagging Hernandez in to bearhug E and then pop him up into an overhead belly to belly. Chavo comes back in but finds himself in the wrong corner, and he ends up on the receiving end of some heavy physical punishment from our favorite Lou Ferrigno impersonator. E tags in and comes off the top rope with an elbowdrop for 2, then goes to a chinlock. Chavo counters a front facelock to a suplex and tags out to Hernandez, who slingshots in with a shoulder tackle to E before backdropping him into next week. Hernandez knocks T off the apron and hits an over the shoulder backbreaker for 2, T comes in and goes at it with Hernandez but gets backdropped to the floor. Hernandez presses E onto the top turnbuckle and Pounces him, then Chavo tags in with his uncle’s finisher for the win.
Winners: Chavo Guerrero Jr & Hernandez
The champions barely have time to celebrate before Joey Ryan comes down the ramp telling them they have three days before he and Matt Morgan win those titles. Morgan comes out of the crowd while Joey has them distracted and takes them both out with a double clothesline. Ryan says that’s what happens when you’re dealing with Big Morgan and the Big Organ.
We go to the Aces & Eights locker room where they’re celebrating Devon’s win with some beer and some babes, and Devon tells Doc not to worry because everything will be taken care of tonight. Why are the guys in masks holding beers? Are they going to drink through the masks or something?
We look back at last week when Wes Brisco earned his job, then we go to the locker room where Garett and Wes kiss Kurt’s ass before he goes out to fight Doc. We then go to Chavo and Hernandez, who say that Joey Ryan and Matt Morgan got their attention, and they’ll see them this Sunday at Final Resolution.
Kurt Angle vs Doc
The brawl starts before Doc is even in the ring, and Kurt stomps Doc down in the corner and begins working over his knee. Kurt clips Doc’s knee a couple of times, but Doc takes his head off with a big clothesline and then returns the favor by attacking Kurt’s leg. Doc sends Angle to the floor with a charging clothesline and then goes outside and whips him into the stairs. They go back in where Doc charges into a boot from Kurt, who comes off the second rope with a dropkick and hits the rolling German suplexes. Doc slips out of the Hacker Slam and hits a clothesline for 2, but Kurt picks his leg and gets the anklelock. Doc kicks him off, but Angle ducks a wild swing and gets another pair of German suplexes. Doc goes to the ropes to block another one and mule kicks Angle in the uprights, then comes off the ropes with a Clothesline From Heck that gets 2. Angle counters a chokeslam to a rollup and then rolls through into an anklelock. Doc escapes that and hits the chokeslam on another attempt, but Angle kicks out at 2. Another charge by Doc sends him into Angle’s elbow, and Angle hits the Hacker Slam, takes the straps down, and goes back to the anklelock. Another member of Aces & Eights gets in the ring and attacks Angle to cause the DQ.
Winner: Kurt Angle by DQ
There’s three or four members of the group surrounding Angle, but Samoa Joe, Wes Brisco, and Garett Bischoff run out to make the save. Angle says he’s got an idea, and that’s for Aces & Eights to send four of their guys to face the four of them at Final Resolution.
Hogan is on his cell phone saying he’s looking at all the paperwork Joseph Park sent him, but he wants to talk to Al Snow in OVW before deciding whether to bring him back. Bull Ray comes in and tells Hogan he wanted the match with Austin Aries last week, and now he says that he’s telling Hogan he’s getting a match with Aries this week. Hogan laughs and says that the wrestling business doesn’t revolve around him, and because there’s a big picture, he’s telling Bubba no. Bubba says the answer will be yes by the end of the night because he’s taking over Hogan’s freakin’ show. Hogan tells Bubba to be careful what he wishes for and tells someone to get him a Midol.
James Storm and Jeff Hardy are backstage, and Storm is saying that he’ll watch Hardy’s back, but they’re out there against Bobby Roode. Roode knew exactly what buttons to push, and he warns Hardy not to let Roode do the same thing to him. Storm walks off and we go INSIDE JEFF HARDY’S HEAD as he says to tell him something he doesn’t already know, because when you’re the World Champion, the World is after you.
#1 Contender Match: Zema Ion vs Kid Kash vs Kenny King
The winner here gets an X Division Title shot this Sunday. They do a bunch of three way spots to start before Kash gets dumped to the floor and King takes Ion’s head off with a leg lariat. Kash drags Ion out to the floor and gets up on the apron, but King nails him with a cartwheel kick. Ion slips in and takes King out with a clothesline for 2, then Kash gets in and we’re back to the three way brawl. King slams Kash and hits the springboard legdrop for 2, cradle suplexes Ion, Ion rolls out to the floor and Kash hits him with a slingshot headscissors on the floor, King takes Kash out with a dive, Ion hits a dive of his own, then they go back in. They do a Tower of Doom spot, Kash gets King in a Boston Crab, Ion breaks it up, King kills Ion with a spinning enziguiri for 2, Kash dumps King to the floor and then springboard in with a clothesline for 2 on Ion. Kash goes to the top rope, Ion shoves him out to the floor, then King springboards in with a Blockbuster and hits Ion with the Royal Flush for the win.
Winner: Kenny King
Damn there was a lot going on there. Great match and all three guys came out lookingl ike a million bucks.
Bully Ray is backstage telling someone on the cell phone how pissed off he is at Hogan for not giving him a match with Austin Aries. He’s going out to the ring right now to get what he wants.
Bully Ray comes storming out and puts a chair in the middle of the ring, and says he’s not leaving until he gets what he wants, which is to fight Austin Aries. Aries wants to fight him, and all the fans want to see them fight each other, and asks the fans if they want to see it just to drive his point home. He’s sitting in that chair and he’s not going nowheah until he gets what he wants. Aries comes out with a chair of his own to ask if he’s supposed to believe this crap, because if memory serves, the last time they fought he dropped Bubba on his fat head and made him tap out. Aries says men stand up for their women, and Bubba says he wants to fight him so damn bad that he dares him to get in the ring right now. Aries says he does whatever he wants, so he sets up his chair in the aisle and won’t leave until Bubba comes out and fights him. Here comes the Hulkster, who repeats that he’s not making the match because he’s not letting anyone push him around. He tells Bubba to get out of his ring or he’s going to fire his ass right now, or kick it. Bubba stands up and gets right in Hulk’s face, but Brooke comes trotting out (and Aries is egging them on the whole time), and says that maybe Mark…maybe Bully Ray is right and it’s becoming too personal. Hulk asks if she called him Mark, then says that since everyone wants it, they got their damn match. Wait a minute, I thought he wasn’t going to let himself get pushed around? Aries looks happy, Bubba and Hogan still look angry, and Brooke looks distraught as we go to commercial.
We see a video package looking at the Hardy-Roode main event of this weekend’s PPV, and then it’s main event time!
Bobby Roode & Bad Influence vs World Champion Jeff Hardy, James Storm & AJ Styles
Daniels and Kazarian are wearing Zubaz pants, bringing back haunting memories of the 80s. Storm and Kazarian start us off and Storm cleans house, hitting a Thesz Press and a pair of running forearms. AJ is arguing with Hardy and they almost miss a tag from Storm, then Storm and AJ argue as Hardy winds up in the wrong part of town. Hardy regains control by nailing Daniels with an inverted enziguiri and then tags out to AJ. Daniels runs for his life and tags out to Kazarian, but AJ catches him with a flying headscissors and tags Hardy back in to hit Poetry In Motion in the corner. Hardy covers for 2 as we go to commercial.
We’re back, and Hardy is in trouble as Kazarian has him in a straitjacket hold. Hardy tries to get away, but winds up on the receiving end of a triple team by the good part of Fortune. Daniels and Kazarian tease the Gangnam dance, but then don’t deliver. Roode unloads on Hardy with hard(y) right hands and gets a vertical suplex for 2. Bad Influence hits a Hart Attack on Hardy for 2, then Roode nails an elbowsmash from the outside. They go inside where Roode gets another back elbow and stomps on Hardy’s chest, grinding his boot in for good measure. Roode comes off the second rope and catches a boot to the gut on the way down, then Hardy hits the Twist of Fate and tags out to AJ, who cleans house on both Daniels and Kazarian. He plants Kazarian with the hammerlock suplex for 2, then Storm hits Closing Time on Roode, a lungblower on Daniels, and he Cactus clotheslines Daniels to the floor. Daniels rams Storm into the steps as AJ takes on Roode and Kazarian in the ring, hitting a deathdrop/DDT combo on both men. AJ goes for a springboard move and Daniels shakes to ropes, Storm comes in and makes the save, and he and AJ get into an argument as Hardy tags himself in and hits the Twist of Fate on Kazarian for the win.
Winners: Jeff Hardy, AJ Styles & James Storm
Storm and AJ head to the back as Aces & Eights comes out of the crowd and kick the crap out of Hardy. Storm finally comes running back out and chases them off as Roode stands smiling and applauding at the top of the ramp as we learn that he paid Aces & Eights off to attack Hardy.