WWE RAW Results – March 31, 2014

Posted by Matt Boone March 31, 2014 14 Comments

The Authority’s Farewell To The “Yes!” Movement, Batista, Randy Orton

As we head to another commercial, we see Triple H and Stephanie McMahon backstage making their way to the ring.

When we return from commercial, Triple H’s “King of Kings” theme hits and out he comes with his lovely wife Stephanie. The power couple enters the ring, both with mics in hand, and the boo’s start pouring out from the fans in Washington, D.C.

Stephanie talks about how Triple H is going to destroy Daniel Bryan at WrestleMania. HHH says he’s not even sure how much they’re going to care. He says this generation has no loyalty. He says they just wanna be part of something. They don’t wanna do anything, because that might require effort, they just want to feel a part of something. He says one year ago at this time there was a big thing, and they both mock Fandango and the big “Fandango’ing” craze.

The fans drown out Triple H with a “CM Punk” chant as he talks about the fans throwing away Fandango. Stephanie asks who wants to see Bryan tonight. The fans all chant “Yes!” She says Triple H was right, even they could get them to chant it. She says they can chant all they want, however, because Daniel Bryan isn’t going to be here tonight. She says because that’s what’s best for business. HHH says Bryan and the “Yes!” movement is just a myth. He says he’s not an A+ player. He says they can chant “Yes!” all they want, but it doesn’t make it true. HHH says it’s the same as people who think he has all the power and success because he married well. He says he has the power because of his dominance in the ring.

HHH continues to talk as the fans break out into a loud “boring” chant. He introduces a video package. The video package, narrated by Stephanie McMahon, highlights what they were referring to as some “flavors of the month” that HHH went through. Among them were Booker T’s spinarooni, Scott Steiner posing, RVD’s thumbs, Jeff Hardy’s death defying acts, Goldberg’s “what’s next,” Chris Jericho’s “RAW is Jericho,” Mick Foley’s cheap pops, Kurt Angle’s “it’s true.” None of it mattered because in the end, the only thing that lasts is “The Game.”

After the video package, Triple H says it’s not that any of those guys aren’t great. He says they were all just players in the game though, and he is “The Game.” He says he’s “The Game” now more than ever. He says since everyone has cried about it, not only is he going to beat Daniel Bryan and the “Yes!” movement, but he’s going to step in the ring with Randy Orton and Batista and show the world that he is the most powerful man in WWE. He says he’ll walk out of WrestleMania as the C.O.O. of this company and as the WWE World Heavyweight Champion.

As he turns to leave, Batista’s music hits. Out comes “The Animal” in another ridiculous outfit. A t-shirt covered with a Georgetown basketball jersey, skinny jeans, Lugz boots and a goofy ass beret-type hat. Gotta love his dress style.

Batista enters the ring and grabs a mic. The fans boo the crap out of him as usual. Some fans actually chant his name. Batista says he loves this whole “say goodbye to the yes movement” thing, he calls it really cute. He says he couldn’t help but notice he wasn’t in Triple H’s video. He says that’s because Triple H has never beaten him. HHH says he’s said that plenty of times now, almost like it’s all he can think of. Batista says HHH is the brains of this operation, his wife is the brawn. The fans “oooh” and “ahhh.”

Randy Orton’s music hits. Orton comes out and tells Steph to wait a minute. He says if she’s about to slap Batista again can she wait so he can get into the ring and have a front row seat. He says on second thought, save the beating for Batista to him when he faces him in the ring later tonight. Orton says he’s not thrilled about a triple-threat match at WrestleMania, but he understands that it’s what’s best for business. He says he knows HHH is going to beat Bryan and it would be an honor to defend his titles against him, but he asks HHH to reconsider being in the match.

HHH says no amount of ass kicking is going to get him out of this. He says he’s going to lose his titles at WrestleMania, unless he becomes The Viper again. He says he’s not even sure if he could beat that guy. He says the Orton-Batista match tonight is now no disqualification. HHH’s music hits and he and Stephanie walk off. Orton and Batista look at each other, and Batista smirks. We head to commercial.

The Usos & Los Matadores vs. The Real Americans & Ryback and Curtis Axel

When we return from commercial, The Usos and Los Matadores are shown in the ring. On the other side of the ring, we see The Real Americans and the team of Ryback and Curtis Axel. It’s time for some eight-man tag-team action.

The bell rings and Ryback and Uso start things off for their respective teams. Michael Cole points out on commentary that these four teams will compete in the first match at WrestleMania XXX this Sunday, as the WWE Tag-Team Championships will be on the line during the WrestleMania pre-show on the WWE Network.

Ryback backs Jimmy into the corner and makes a clean break. They lock up again and Ryback again backs him into the corner then shoves him. Jimmy fights back with a few chops. Ryback catches Jimmy on his shoulders but Jimmy fights out and hits another chop. Ryback comes back with a knee to the gut but eats a few arm drags by Jimmy. Jimmy tags in Jey Uso. Ryback hits the ropes and The Usos his a double kick to the gut. Jey covers for a one count. Ryback connects with a kick to the gut and tags in Axel. Axel charges and eats a big right hand by Jey Uso. Jey hits a chop and tags in Diego. Diego connects with a forearm and tags in Fernando. Fernando hits an arm drag and tags Jimmy Uso back in. Jimmy hits a big double ax handle to the chest of Axel and tags in Fernando.

Fernando hits a shot to the gut and tags in Diego. Diego hits a big drop kick and pins for a two count. Jey Uso now tags in and connects with a shot to the gut. Axel fights back with a big right hand and tags in Cesaro. Cesaro hits a few big uppercuts, but eats a big right hand by Jey. Cesaro fights back and hits another uppercut. Swagger now tags in. Swagger lands some stomps and tosses Jey face first into the corner. He then whips him hard into the adjacent corner. Jey fights back to his feet and hits a DDT. He knocks Cesaro and Axel off the apron then low bridges Ryback.

Fernando dives to the outside onto Cesaro. Jimmy flies over the top onto Ryback. Jey now tags in and goes up top. Swagger throws Uso to the floor. On that note, we head to a mid-match commercial.

When we return from commercial, we see Uso and Cesaro battling in the ring. Cesaro hits a standing drop kick and covers for a two count. Jey fights back to his feet and hits a back elbow. Jey comes off the middle rope but Cesaro catches him and hits a back breaker for a close two count. Cesaro lifts Jey up and hits a suplex for a two count. Swagger now tags in. Jey gets tossed into the corner and gets hit by Swagger and Cesaro. Swagger covers for a two count. Ryback tags in and locks in a rear chin lock on Jey Uso. Jey fights back to his feet, and hits a bulldog to get separation.

Ryback gets to Axel and Axel cuts off Jey. Jey gets to Jimmy for the tag. Jimmy is on fire and hits a big back elbow to Axel. Jimmy connects with a big samoan drop. Jimmy charges and hits the butt splash in the corner. He covers but Ryback breaks up the count and eats a superkick for his troubles. Axel rolls up Jimmy for behind for a two count. Swagger tags in and hits a big boot to the face. Diego breaks up the count then hits a flipping splash on the outside to Cesaro. Swagger goes for the Swagger bomb, but lands and eats a kick to the head by Jimmy. Fernando flies off the top but Swagger catches him and locks in The Patriot lock.

Uso comes in and gets slammed by Swagger. After that, the Los Matadores pull the ole’ “switch-a-roo.” Swagger goes to grab him, but he rolls him up. 1-2-3. Los Matadores and The Usos get the win. After the match, we head to commercial.

Winners: The Usos & Los Matadores

Fandango & Damien Sandow vs. Goldust & Cody Rhodes

When we return from commercial, Fandango is in the middle of his entrance. We see Summer Rae doing a split in front of him as he does the Fandango pose. Already in the ring is Damien Sandow, who is Fandango’s tag-partner, and their opponents, Goldust and Cody Rhodes.

Rhodes and Sandow start things off for their respective teams. Sandow whips Cody hard into the corner, but Cody hits a back elbow and goes up top, but Sandow bails out of the ring. Sandow now tags in Fandango. Fandango eats a big hip toss by Fandango. Fandango whips Cody hard chest first into the corner. Sandow now tags back in. Sandow lands a shot to the gut and a headbutt followed by some stomps to a fallen Cody. Cody and Sandow are now on the outside. Sandow tosses Cody face first off the apron and rolls him back in the ring.

Sandow covers for a one count. Fandango now tags back in. Fandango hits a suplex and covers for a two count. Fandango tosses Cody face first into the corner and tags in Sandow. Sandow lands a kick to the gut and drops a knee to the face of Cody for a two count. Sandow locks in a rear chin lock. Cody fights back to his feet with right hands. Cody tries to make a tag but Sandow hits a drop toe hold to stop him. Cody fights Sandow off and tags in Goldust. Goldust hits some clothesline and hits hits uppercut.

Goldust hits a spinbuster and connects with a big atomic drop to Fandango. Fandango gets tossed to the outside. Goldust connects with a powerslam and covers but it’s broken up by Fandango. The finish comes when Goldust nails Sandow out of the blue with his “Final Cut” finisher. 1-2-3. The Rhodes Brothers get the “W.” After the match, we head to commercial.

Winners: Goldust & Cody Rhodes

Backstage Segment: The Shield

When we return from commercial, Michael Cole introduces a video package that highlights the history of The Shield feud with Kane and The New Age Outlaws. After the video package, we are reminded once again that we can vote on the WWE App to decide which member of The Shield will face Kane tonight.

Backstage, we see all three members of The Shield. Seth Rollins says he almost feels bad for Kane. He says it doesn’t matter who wins the App vote, Kane’s in a bad way. Dean Ambrose says the important thing to remember is that they didn’t disrespect them, they disrespected us. Roman Reigns says The Shield is not to be messed with. Believe that. And believe in The Shield.

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    • Taio Smalls

      There is no way the voting for Roman Reigns wasn’t ridged.

      • miley

        Agreed. Ambrose is clearly a favorite

        • SJ

          Randy Orton NOT BEING ABLE NOR ALLOWED TO RETURN TO BEING the SKINHEAD GUY- VIPER like he was in 2009-2009……is the MOST ABSOLUTELY:
          OBJECTIONABLE
          DESPICABLE
          HATEFUL
          WRONGFUL
          UNJUST
          UNFAIR
          UNCOOL
          DISSATISFYING
          HORRENDOUS
          HURTFULY
          MOTHERF**KING ATROCIOUS, VILE, TERRIBLE BUNCH OF SUCKFEST HELLACIOUS GODDAMN NO – GOOD CRAP EVER!!!!

          • joshidanger

            Randy Orton being champion is the MOST ABSOLUTELY:OBJECTIONABLE
            DESPICABLE
            HATEFUL
            WRONGFUL
            UNJUST
            UNFAIR
            UNCOOL
            DISSATISFYING
            HORRENDOUS
            HURTFULY
            MOTHERF**KING ATROCIOUS, VILE, TERRIBLE BUNCH OF SUCKFEST HELLACIOUS GODDAMN DISSATISFYINGLY, DISAPPOINTINGLY, DISCOURAGINGLY, DETESTABLY, ABSYMALLY, TOTALLY, COMPLETELY, ABSOLUTELY AND REALLY, REALLY MOTHER-F***KING SUUUUUUUUUUUUCKS BEYOND WORSE THAN
            TERRIBLY SUCKS ROTTENLY AND OBJECTIONABLY, TERRIBLY, OFFENSIVELY, OBNOXIOUSLY AND HATEFULLY!!!! TRUELY!!!

      • SJ

        Randy Orton being WWE World Heavyweight Champion right now….. in the way he’s having to presently continue going along with being heelish and a bad guy—- saying, doing things and behaving like…. I HATE IT BECAUSE IT DISSATISFYINGLY, DISAPPOINTINGLY, DISCOURAGINGLY, DETESTABLY, ABSYMALLY, TOTALLY, COMPLETELY, ABSOLUTELY AND REALLY, REALLY MOTHER-F***KING SUUUUUUUUUUUUCKS BEYOND WORSE THAN
        TERRIBLY SUCKS ROTTENLY AND OBJECTIONABLY, TERRIBLY, OFFENSIVELY, OBNOXIOUSLY AND HATEFULLY!!!!

    • chrissi calvert

      Really bored of the Total Divas winning every week while theres more talented girls who are being forgotten about

      • SJ

        Randy Orton being the WWE Raw…. WWE World Heavyweight Champion right now, him having facial hair, him having to behave heelishly and like a bad guy and having to behave in ways that he does on Raw, cut horribly lousy promos and do things in matches that suck….is totally awful, saddening and disappointing, discouraging and isn’t how he’s supposed to be like at all and him having to continue to NOT BE the SKINHEAD VIPER like what he was doing in 2008-2009 HELLACIOUSLY SUCKS DISSATISFYINGLY AND ABSYMALLY DISASTEROUSLY HATEFUL AND ROTTENLY DISCOURAGING!!!!!!!!!
        BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
        *****thumbs down*****

        • Jenn

          it isn’t fair or right for Triple H to have to fuckin’ job to Daniel Bryan!!!
          ***thumwmbs down**** B – OOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! For Triple H not to win at WM 30′s PPV then eventually feud vs the clean-shaven badass”Viper” Randy Keith Orton !!!! instead of the pathetic suckfest current watered down crap Randy’s doing!!!! Friggin’ pathetic and completely unjust! He’s probably been getting negatively influenced instead of positively influenced!!! Randy Orton NOT BEING ALLOWED TO return back to being the clean-shaven badass “VIPER” like he was doing in 2008-2009 SUCKS MONUMENTALLY ATROCIOUSLY AWFUL AND IS WRONG AND F–KED UP AND OBJECTIONABLE, UNJUST AND LOUSY!!!! Randy Orton NOT BEING more intense and passionate like he was doing back then….in ’08-’09, you know…. when he WAS THE HANDSOMEST, HOTTEST, MOST ADOREABLY CUTE & INCREDIBLE LOOKING MAN i’ve EVER SEEN in my ENTIRE LIFE!!!!!
          I ought to grow my hair out longer and dress more feminine…..just because I believe Randy would want me to and would like that!

          ……*****thinks about it******

          So that Randy can go back to looking clean-shaven and being a badass…
          Okay, O.K.!!!!
          I’ll grow my hair out longer and dress more feminine!!!
          I’m desperate….I can’t stand Randy NOT BEING “The Viper” anymore!! Because him NOT DOING THAT SUCKS WORSE THAN HELLACIOUSLY!!! OH HELL YEAH I WANT TO MARRY HIM!!!!
          BUT….if I don’t dress more girly and feminine….he won’t be attracted to me because I’ll have the wrong appearance…

          • Joe Hawkins

            Just a second, girl!
            What’s this??
            You mean to say… that you like Randy Orton so much that you’d be willing to grow your hair out and dress more feminine looking just because YOU think and believe that “The Viper” Randy Keith Orton would want and like you to???

            • Jenn

              YES!!!!!
              If it will help him to return back to being clean-shaven and to marry me one day….I’m GOING TO do that!!!!!

            • Lee 501

              No it won’t.
              Me? I hate Randy Orton’s current bearded look..cos’ makes him look like a fuckin stupid hippiel wanker!

            • SJ

              Or…Randy having to continue to go around looking’ like a stupid looking hippie wanker cunt that don’t care about or like Skinhead girls!!!
              ****thumbs down****

              BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
              Orton’s current non-viper merchandise that he has that doesn’t have him with the clean shaven look….and the new idiotic cartoon type character….it looks and COMPLETELY SUCKS WORSE THAN EVER !!!
              Him looking like a poser sell-out motherfuckin’ sucks abominably and atrociously pathetic!!!!!!

            • SJ

              Moreover Orton’s having to not be WWE World Heavyweight Champion like he was back around 08-09 and be clean shaven and be the badass “VIPER” like he used to be and used to look…..man, I’d do ANYTHING for him to be able to be clean shaven again and eventually marry me in the future! Even if I’d have to grow my hair out longer or dress more feminine!
              For the clean-shaven Viper Randy Keith Orton….I’d do that!!!
              If it was any other guy who’d want me to, I wouldn’t do it then.
              Because I don’t want to EVER marry any other guy in this entire world!!!! ONLY The Viper Randy Keith Orton!!!! NOBODY ELSE!!!!
              Him not being clean shaven anymore TOTALLY SUCKS!!!!

    • SJ

      Randy Orton being WWE World Heavyweight Champion right now DOES SUCK because NOW HE’S GOT TO behave in ways I TOTALLY FUCKING HATE AND DON’T WANT OR LIKE!!!
      BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
      ***THUMBS DOWN***
      Randy Orton friggin’ going along with continuing to be the WWE World Heavyweight Champion, be romantically involved with Stephanie McMahan, have facial hair, continue to behave heelishly and badly like he’s been doing and continue going along with….ATROCIOUSLY, ABHORRENTLY, BADLY, HELLACIOUSLY, TREMENDOUSLY, LOUSILY, OBJECTIONABLY SUCKS BEYOND WORSE THAN MORONIC F***KIN GODDAMN IDIOTIC SUCKFEST CRAP!!!!

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