WWE TLC 2013 Results
Backstage: Randy Orton & Vince McMahon
Backstage we see someone lacing up their boots. The camera pans up and we see it’s Randy Orton. Vince McMahon walks up and extends his hand. Orton shakes McMahon’s hand as McMahon smiles and then walks off. We head to a commercial for Wing Stop, a chicken wing joint. No lie.
Expert Panel: New TLC Match Announced
We shoot back to the expert panel and Mick Foley and Booker T talk about the altercation earlier tonight during the Kickoff Show between The Miz and Kofi Kingston. The fans are chanting “Kofi, Kofi” as Foley and Booker talk. We get a video replay of Kingston and Miz’s scuffle. Booker T announces that The Authority has made it official – The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston here tonight in a no disqualification match.
WWE Tag-Team Championship
– Goldust & Cody Rhodes (c) vs. The Real Americans vs. Big Show & Rey Mysterio vs. Ryback & Curtis Axel
Following the visit to the TLC expert panel, The Real American’s music hits. As The Real Americans come to the ring, we see highlights from SmackDown of The Real Americans winning a non-title match over the current champions Goldust and Cody Rhodes. Rey Mysterio’s music hits and out comes WWE’s most popular masked Superstar. Mysterio’s partner, Big Show, is out next. The team of Ryback and Curtis Axel, RybAxel, make their way to the ring together as highlights are shown from SmackDown two weeks ago where Axel pinned Cody Rhodes. Finally, the current WWE Tag-Team Champions, Goldust and Cody Rhodes come out together for what Michael Cole points out is a fatal fourway title elimination match.
The bell rings and Ryback and Cody Rhodes are starting things off in the ring. Michael Cole points out that the guys can tag anyone they want into the ring, it doesn’t necessarily have to be your own tag-team partner. Rhodes uses his speed early on to beat up Ryback, even using a page out of Goldust’s playbook by dropping to his back for a quick up-punch. Rhodes tags in Goldust and the two hit a quick double-team spot on Ryback. Some loud “Goldust, Goldust” chants break out as Ryback tags in Axel. Axel quickly clotheslines Goldust down and taunts both Goldust and the fans. Goldust hits a picture-perfect dropkick on Axel to cut him off. Meanwhile, JBL and Michael Cole are arguing like children on commentary about make-up. Goldust tags in Big Show and now an apprehensive Axel tries going to work on him with punches.
Big Show powers Axel into the corner. He tells us all to “shush” and hits him with his mighty chop. The fans do a loud “one more time” chant so Big Show obliges. Youch. That second one seemed like it might just leave a mark! The fans chant “one more time” again and Big Show hits him with a third one, which might even be harder than both of the previous two. Big Show tags Mysterio in and within seconds, Axel is beating up Mysterio in the corner.
Axel tags in Ryback and Ryback goes up to the middle rope. Ryback comes off with a second-rope splash and then hammers away at Mysterio with punches on the ground. Ryback jumps up and exclaims, “Ryback rules!” as the fans chant “Ryback sucks.” Ryback tags in Axel again and Axel shows off the marks on his chest from Big Show’s chops before going to work on Mysterio. Axel and Mysterio collide into each other and now both guys are down.
Mysterio tags in Goldust and Axel tags in Ryback. Goldust rolls Ryback up out of nowhere and pins him. 1-2-3. Curtis Axel and Ryback are eliminated. Swagger comes in and goes to work on Goldust for just a second or two before immediately tagging in Antonio Cesaro. Cesaro does the same thing and tags Swagger right back in. A loud “we the people” chant actually breaks out as Swagger continues to go to work on Goldust in the center of the ring. Now a loud “Goldust, Goldust” chant breaks out as Goldust is showing signs of life, attempting to get to his corner for a tag. Swagger forces him into his corner and tags Cesaro back in. Cesaro knocks Goldust out to the floor. The fans do another loud “we the people” chant along with The Real Americans. Swagger blasts Goldust with a running clothesline on the floor and then throws him back in the ring. Swagger tags back in as Goldust is fighting back. Cesaro tags back in and gut-wrench powerbombs Goldust for a near fall.
In the center of the ring, Cesaro has a wrist-lock on Goldust as we see a replay of his gut-wrench powerbomb from moments ago. Cesaro stops Goldust from making a tag and then tags in Swagger. Swagger goes to work on the arm that Cesaro just softened up. Goldust finally blasts Swagger with a big right hand. Goldust hits a springboard back-elbow off the second rope. Both guys are down now. Cesaro is up first and he grabs the legs of Goldust. He starts a crazy-fast Cesaro Swing. He swings him around a bit and then tags in Swagger. Swagger goes for a pin attempt but Rhodes comes in to break it up. Swagger tags in Cesaro. Cesaro slaps a rear chin lock on Goldust as a “let’s go Goldust” chant breaks out from the fans in Houston. Goldust hits a DDT on Cesaro and now both guys are down. The crowd is begging for Goldust to make the tag. Swagger goes to stop him, but Goldust throws Swagger over the top and onto the floor. Goldust goes to tag Rhodes but Swagger drags Rhodes off the apron. Rhodes is selling a knee injury on the floor. Big Show gets involved.
Back in the ring, Goldust hits a huracanrana on Cesaro. No joke. Goldust hits a big powerslam on Cesaro. Big Show is stomping and trying to encourage Goldust into making the tag to him. He does. Big Show comes in and clotheslines Cesaro down. Big Show throws Cesaro in the corner and then splashes him. Big Show with a shoulder-block on Cesaro. Big Show calls for the chokeslam. Swagger tries interfering but Show catches him with the KO punch. Show turns around and Cesaro comes off the top, but he comes off right into a KO punch by Big Show. Big Show pins Cesaro. 1-2-3. The Real Americans are eliminated.
We’re down to the teams of Big Show and Rey Mysterio and the current WWE Tag-Team Champions, Goldust and Cody Rhodes. Big Show waits for Goldust to get back to his feet and the two lock up. Big Show knocks Goldust out to the floor. JBL and Michel Cole are arguing again on commentary. Goldust with a flying cross-body off the top onto Big Show for a semi-believable near fall. Big Show grabs Goldust by the throat. He hoists him up for a chokeslam but Goldust adjusts in mid-air to a DDT. Goldust tags in Cody Rhodes. Rhodes and Goldust hit a double-suplex on Big Show for a near fall. Rhodes leaps off the ropes but comes down to a big chop by Big Show. They screwed that up a bit. Big Show tags in Mysterio. Mysterio is a ball of energy and he comes off the top with a senton onto Rhodes. Rhodes sunset flips Mysterio but Mysterio rolls through and blasts Rhodes in the head with a big kick. Rhodes comes off the middle rope with a disaster kick to Mysterio for a near fall.
Rhodes grabs Mysterio from behind for a Cross Rhodes, but Mysterio escapes and trips Rhodes onto the ropes. He does the same to Goldust. Mysterio hits the 6-1-9 on Goldust. Big Show grabs Goldust and yanks him out to the floor. Rhodes dives over the ropes and splashes onto Big Show, but Big Show catches him. Rhodes shoves Big Show face-first into the post and then rolls back into the ring. Rhodes leaps off the ropes and lands into a powerbomb by Mysterio for a near fall that the crowd bought into. Now we’ve got a “this is awesome” chant. Mysterio goes for the 6-1-9 on Rhodes but Rhodes catches his legs. He goes to slam him but Mysterio reverses it into a close roll-up attempt. Rhodes hits the Cross Rhodes on Mysterio. 1-2-3. Cody Rhodes and Goldust win and retain the WWE Tag-Team Championships.
Winners and STILL WWE Tag-Team Champions: Goldust & Cody Rhodes
Backstage: Fun With New WWE Dolls
Backstage we see The Prime Time Players, Titus O’Neil and Darren Young. Young says he got a call from The Rock yesterday. O’Neil doesn’t believe him. It turns out, it”s a Rock doll which Young holds up. O’Neil holds up his own doll, a John Cena doll. The Great Khali appears and has a Sheamus doll. The Los Matadores come in and they’ve got a Brodus Clay doll. Vickie Guerrero and Brad Maddox come in and tells them to act like adults. Vickie snatches the Brodus Clay doll and Maddox snatches the Cena doll. Maddox and Guerrero play-fight their dolls against each other as everyone walks out. Kane’s music hits and in he comes, shaking his head in disgust. Vickie and Brad leave. Kane sticks around. He picks up the dolls and has the Clay doll knock the Cena doll down. He smiles. That’s it, and thank god.
Brodus Clay vs. R-Truth
Following that horrendous backstage segment, The Funkadactyls come out shaking their pom-poms as Brodus Clay and Tensai dance their way to the ring. During their entrance, we see highlights of Clay’s semi-heel turn on RAW. R-Truth raps his way to the ring with Xavier Woods. Truth finishes his wrap and asks Houston, Texas to make some noise. He asks them one final time, “what’s up?” and they must not know, because they yell back “what’s up.”
Anyways, the bell rings and Clay and Truth lock up. Clay throws Truth down with ease. Truth fires back at him with some punches. Truth continues punching away at Clay in the corner. Clay reverses him but walks into an elbow and then a kick. Truth hops onto the middle rope and comes off with a missile dropkick onto Clay. Truth hits a scissors-kick to the back of Clay’s head for a near fall. Clay rolls out to the floor but Truth follows him out via a big dive onto the floor. Truth yells again “what’s up?” to the fans, and they still don’t know, as they as well want to know “what’s up?”
Meanwhile, Clay is in control of Truth in the ring. Clay comes off the ropes and splashes Truth on the mat. Clay nails Truth with a jumping double leg-drop. We get a shot of Xavier Woods shouting encouragement to Truth in the ring. Clay continues mauling Truth with ease now. Clay mocks Truth’s “what’s up?” catchphrase and hits Truth with a t-bone suplex. Clay mocks his own dance a bit and then hits a running splash on Truth in the corner. And another. Truth slumps to the mat like he was shot. Truth rolls out to the floor to try and recover but Clay goes out after him. Tensai gets in Clay’s face on the floor. He tells Clay to quit pummeling Truth and just pin him to get the win. Clay yells back as Truth rolls into the ring.
Clay goes back in the ring and hangs Truth upside down in the corner. Clay splashes Truth repeatedly in the corner as Tensai yells at him from the floor to stop it and just beat him. Tensai hops on the apron and again tells him to quit beating up Truth and to just pin him already. Clay shouts that he’s a main event player and that he’s better than Tensai. Tensai gets mad and walks to the back. The Funkadactyls are yelled at by Clay so they walk off as well. Clay turns around and Truth blasts Clay with a big kick. 1-2-3. R-Truth pulls off the upset.
Backstage: John Cena & Vince McMahon
Backstage, we see John Cena talking to someone. Vince McMahon walks up. The two shake hands. McMahon walks away.
No Disqualification Match
– Kofi Kingston vs. The Miz
Kofi Kingston comes to the ring. Out next is The Miz. While Miz comes to the ring the announcers discuss the fact that ths is a no disqualification match and the reason for the no-DQ is because of their heated altercation during the Kickoff Show and their multiple exchanges and matches throughout the past few weeks.
The bell sounds and Kingston goes right to work on Miz. The two end up on the floor and Kingston continues to beatdown Miz. Kingston goes for the Trouble In Paradise kick on Miz on the floor but Miz moves and Kingston kicks the ring post. Kingston is selling his leg now. Miz stalks Kingston a bit and then DDTs him on the floor. Miz rolls Kingston back in the ring and covers him for a pin attempt. Kingston kicks out at two.
Miz continues to work over the “injured” right leg of Kingston from the missed kick into the post moments ago. Miz is now slapping Kingston to make up for the smack he gave him earlier during the Kickoff Show. Kingston rolls up Miz out of nowhere for a near fall. Miz again goes to work on Kingston’s leg. Miz slaps Kingston a few times again before going back to work on his leg. Kingston finally launches Miz over the top rope and onto the floor. Kingston goes out after Miz, limping towards him, but Miz catches him and drops him on the barricade. Miz runs and blasts Kingston with a big kick as Cole puts over Miz’s “killer instinct” here tonight.
Miz rolls Kingston back in the ring and tries to pin him, but Kingston again kicks out at two. Miz goes over to the turnbuckle and is taking the padding off of the top turnbuckle. The turnbuckle is exposed now and Miz goes over and kicks Kingston a few times. Miz hits a running knee-lift to the face of Kingston. Miz goes for the Skull Crushing Finale onto the exposed turnbuckle but Kingston reverses it into a pin attempt. Miz kicks out at two and immediately goes back to work on Kingston. Miz goes up to the top rope but comes off and is caught by a dropkick from Kingston. Kingston sells the leg again. As all of this is going on, one or two people attempt to get a “this is awesome” (or Miz is awesome) chant going, but instead, a very loud “boring, boring” chant breaks out. Now the crowd is chanting “we want tables.”
Miz works on Kingston’s leg a bit more. Miz goes for the figure four leg lock but Kingston kicks Miz off and Miz hits his face on the exposed turnbuckle. When Miz turns around, he eats a Trouble In Paradise kick from Kingston. 1-2-3. Kingston wins. His music immediately plays. Seems like they were rushed to go home near the end in that one.
Winner: Kofi Kingston